A Clean Getaway

I made the biggest mistake of my life when I decided to pursue a relationship with Liza. Too bad there was no warning sign reading “DANGER: POSSESSIVE JEALOUS PSYCHO THIEF AHEAD! DON’T PROCEED WITH CAUTION….TURN AROUND AND RUN!” Unfortunately for me, life doesn’t come with warning signs and I never saw the crazy come out of her until it was too late. Liza was from a smaller town about two hours out from where I grew up. After college, her and her bestie decided to hightail it out of town and make a new life for themselves in the city, and that’s where we met. I was out having dinner with friends one night, and while we were waiting to be seated, in comes one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen. It was like time slowed down and I could only see her. I couldn’t take my eyes off off her, so lucky for me there were too many people standing around for her to really notice me. After our meal, we decided to go next door for drinks and who would show up but that amazing girl from the restaurant. I didn’t want to miss this chance, so I went over and introduced myself. We ended up sitting at a table talking the whole night. We hung out a lot over the next few weeks and decided to be exclusive about a month after we met.

I’m not going to bore you with the mundane details of the next three years, we were generally happy and loved each other deeply. Like any other couple, we had our occasional argument but nothing too bad. Then she called me in tears one day. Her and her best friend had gotten into a huge fight and she had found out that the girl had been badmouthing her to everyone they knew and calling her all sorts of horrible names. I knew that she was hurting, so I invited her over for the night and she never left. Her best friend had bailed and she couldn’t afford to pay for the rent on their place alone, so she ended up moving in with me. It was a little sooner than I had wanted but I thought we could make it work. Whenever she was home (which was any time that she didn’t have work) she would sit around in a funk with a really nasty attitude. When my friends would invite me out, she would start by guilt-tripping me and eventually would be fighting me not to go. She put me through hell if I didn’t give her 100% of my time and attention. She blamed her behavior on the situation she was in with her ex-friend. She went to talk to a counselor and things seemed to get a little better.

Since she was only working part time, I added her to my credit card and we opened a joint savings and checking account together. I contributed the majority of the money because she claimed that her money was spent on her other expenses, although she would never be straightforward about what those expenses were. This was the source of many disagreements between us. After a while, I started to get this weird feeling about her. It was like something was just off. She was angry and really secretive. One night her phone kept going off while we were sleep. At first I thought it was an alarm but when I went to turn it off, I realized that it was actually someone calling her repeatedly. Then a text message popped up on the screen that read, “I scored some coke from a friend so get your sweet @ss over here!” I thought that it must have been a wrong number, but something told me to look further so I did. I went to her text message and discovered that she in fact did know whoever this person texting her was and that they had been doing drugs and sleeping together for the past few months. I immediately knew what had been up with her behavior and where her money had been going. I woke her up and demanded for her to pack up and get out. She tried turning things around on me, blaming me for going through her phone, like that was our biggest problem! I told her that I didn’t care about anything else but her getting her stuff and leaving. She grabbed a few things and started crying that she had no place to go. I told her to call her druggie hook up and ask him if she could crash with him. She left and I didn’t know where she was going and I didn’t care. After I cooled down, I sat down and wrote out a list of everything I needed to do to cut her out of my life, and the first thing was to change the locks on the doors. I went to the hardware store the next morning and grabbed new locks. My total came out to $43.00. I gave the checker my debit card and it was declined. I knew that there had to have been a mistake. I am not perfect, but I am pretty good with my money and had been saving since college. There was definitely money in my account. I went out to my car and used my bank app on my phone to see what was going on. I was shocked to see that my checking had $0.06 and my savings had $2.10. There was thousands of dollars missing from both accounts. I was sick, I knew that it had to be some kind of horrible mistake and that I could get it resolved with a call to the bank. Then it hit me. Liza had full access to everything, and sure enough I could see where she had withdrawn all of the money in both accounts to some other account. I called the bank to see how I could get my money back. After an hour on the phone and a nervous breakdown, I managed to speak to a supervisor who basically explained to me that Liza was an authorized user and that there was nothing wrong with her withdrawing any amount of money she wanted to, and that there was NOTHING that they could do to get it back. I sat there in the parking lot of the hardware store and just cried. Years of hard work and saving all gone, probably half spent on drugs and god knows what else at this point.

It has been a struggle ever since. I had to get a second part time job to make sure that I had enough to cover all of my bills and a few extra dollars to put into savings. I used to love waking up to go to a job that I loved and the comforts that my life afforded me. Now I dread having to get up in the morning to face a 14 hour work day. I just hope to be able to work my way out of the hell I’m living right now because I loved the wrong girl.

Let’s Keep it Private

I am 16 years old and like most other high school girls, I enjoy social networking and using facebook, twitter and Instagram. I started dating Alex about 4 months ago. It was a pretty standard teenage relationship; we’d hang out after school and on weekends and were always texting, etc. I didn’t want to take things so seriously because we are young and we both have goals in life that we don’t want to mess up. If we managed to stay together, great, but neither of us wanted to sacrifice our dreams to follow the other. From what he told me, Alex lost his virginity in our Sophomore year of high school and had hooked up with 5 other girls since then. I was a virgin when I met him. It wasn’t some crazy purity thing or anything like that, I just hadn’t met anyone that I felt ready to go that far with. From day 2 of our time together, Alex was trying to talk me into having sex with him. I told him that I wanted to see where things went with us before taking such a big step. He agreed and we went on from there.

Now back to the social networking issue…. Alex tried to pretend like he was “too cool” for social networking, but he had accounts like everyone else and posted plenty. He said that he didn’t really care about it and thought that it was dumb of me to hang on my phone so much. as long as it wasn’t interfering with anything, I didn’t see a problem with it. I wasn’t sitting on my phone all day and all night, and if I was just sitting with Alex while he played video games, I wanted to at least keep myself entertained. But no, he would have preferred I just sit there with all of my attention on him and whatever he was doing. That was annoying but I figured I could see past it.

The time came where I finally started to feel comfortable enough with Alex to start thinking about sex. One day, we were fooling around and I just let things go all the way. I didn’t regret it and I felt closer to him. About a week later, I was sitting with Alex in his basement while he played video games. He paused the game for a second and saw me on my phone. He got up and grabbed his phone. I didn’t know what he was doing, so I asked and he said “it’s a surprise.” I found out what it was about 5 minutes later when a picture of me sitting on my phone in his basement showed up on his Instagram with the caption “This is how you get your girlfriend to get off her phone….I’m dumping you. Get out of my house!” #dumped #next #exgirlfriend #atleastigotsomesex

I was horrified, because not only had it posted to Instagram, but Facebook too where he was friends with his and my parents. I asked him if it was a joke and he just said “Can you just leave? We’re done. Stay if you want to hook up, otherwise go home.” I was so hurt and shocked that I couldn’t even cry. I just walked home shaking. I broke down when I got home and when I checked later on to see if he had updated that it was a bad joke or something, he had deleted the post and posted a bunch of pictures of himself with other girls. Each of the pictures had the caption “Haley wouldn’t…….but she would!” He then posted an update about how happy he was to be rid of me and how he had been cheating the whole time. I can’t believe that I thought so much of that douche!

Red Flag

Well they say love is blind….
I have been single for three years and very happy. Always open to meeting someone but happy either way. I was out with friends and met someone. She was very nice we had great small talk. I asked for her number and thought she was nice so I called later that week. When I called she didn’t remember me, first red flag , but we met up anyway. It was a good first date, small talk and some laughs. The second red flag was as we were getting to know each other she said how she broke up with her ex. They were to be married and the night before the wedding she left town and the country to never looked back. I was thinking that’s cold-hearted. I turned a blind eye to that and looked at the positive. We started seeing more and more of each other and I fell in love . I believed we both felt the same and I was very happy. The third Red Flag was she talked a lot about her other eX, how they did this and that together, it didn’t bug me too much but I got the feeling she still was in love with him even though she has been broken up 3 years and living in a different state. Well things are going great I feel like a new world has opened up for me when we are together, everything is like a dream come true. We are going on long weekends together and planned a trip to Europe for the summer, got cell phones together even started looking for a house to buy together. So the solid ground work for a serious relationship is manifesting. We even buy a puppy together. Now another Red Flag is she talks down about some of her girlfriends but still goes out with them even when we have things planed. It doesn’t bug me too much but I get a little jealous when I don’t even get asked to come along or even get a text or call during the night then when I ask how was it, she gets defensive and says don’t you trust me. So I look at the positive and move on. We take a romantic getaway to a beach resort , we both are really looking forward to spending time together. The first night was great, both a little tired but was great. The second night I lean over to give a kiss and she looks at me like, what do you think you’re doing and says can’t we just watch a movie. I’m like Ok but we sit as far away from each other on the bed as possible. The vibe is way off, I almost leave to sleep in the other room. The next night is the same. she doesn’t want to talk and says nothings wrong. We get back home and she acts like everything is cool and is all flirty .So this feeling is eating me up inside . I try to talk with her about it and she doesn’t want to. So one night I bring it up to try and clear it up and she says why can you forget about it, it turns into a bit of a argument and I just walked out. So a day goes by and I apologies but it still is bugging me and in less than three weeks we have another vacation planned, a big one. I’m flying to her country. So a day passes and another and another then her girlfriend comes into town. I basically get the silent treatment for 10 days. All this time I’m thinking are we broken up, what about our trip to Europe. Anyway her friend leaves and she finally has 15 min to meet before she has to go to work. So we meet and she says this relationship is over. I could see it coming but couldn’t believe she waited until 15 min before she had to go to work and less than a day before she flew out of the country to tell me. So now I get dumped and have a ticket to a country that no one is going to meet me in, a little puppy and a cell phone contract. I fly out anyway, no call, no pick up at the airport not even a meet up for a coffee or drink, just dumped . Its been 6 plus months and I’m still digesting it all.
Many more details and Red Flags, Love is Blind , funny thing is I feel I still love her and it makes me feel sick

Making a Scene

I’m going to try to keep this short. This isn’t so much about my relationship than the actual breakup. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. Here it goes…..

I was a sophomore in college and had been dating this girl named Emily for around 9 months. She was a great girlfriend and we had fun together, but there was just something between us that wasn’t clicking. I had really been trying to make things work, but things just didn’t seem to be working out. We had started to argue over the dumbest things and just couldn’t enjoy each other like we did before. One Sunday night, I decided to just balls up and break things off with her. I just felt like staying together would just be dragging the process out because it was inevitable that we were going to fail as a couple. I called her and asked her to meet me in the lounge of our dorms. She came and I didn’t waste any time. I told her that she was great and that it wasn’t either of us that was the problem, it was just that “us” wasn’t working. I was upset to be losing her, but I knew it was the right thing. I expected that she would be upset but I never expected her to go crazy! She immediately started shrieking, like she was being hurt physically. Then she started crying and screaming “WHY? How CAN YOU JUST BE WITH SOMEONE ONE DAY THEN JUST ABANDON THEM?! NO! YOU’RE NOT DOING THIS TO ME!” She started pulling all over my clothes and throwing herself on me. Then, out of nowhere, she just slapped me! I hadn’t said anything rude to her, and I had tried to do it in person and as respectful as I could. You would have thought she had caught me in bed with someone else with the way she was acting. Students started coming out of there rooms, and the next thing I know, the RA and security are standing around us and the police were called. They cleared the students out and separated us. When they questioned Emily, she told them that I had sexually assaulted her, then dumped her when she refused my advances. She said that she had acted out because I had said incredibly cruel things to her. I told my side of the story but still somehow ended up in a disciplinary hearing to see if I’d be allowed to stay anywhere on campus ever again. Luckily for me, they had the security camera footage and the video that a student had taken, and it proved that I had never done any of the things I had been accused of. It really pissed Emily off that she didn’t get her revenge on me so she started acting psycho. She was coming into my lectures and just standing at the door staring at me, or she would sit near me and send me text after text. I tried to ignore it, but she got more aggressive and started trying to pick fights with me or do crazy stuff to get my attention. I finally had enough and I reported it to the school. She ended up being expelled. All of this for a college relationship that didn’t even last a year. I’m backing off of serious relationships until after I graduate!

For Better or Worse

You’d think that a man who pursues a woman for 8 years and went through a ton of trouble to propose on the most spectacular way would have stayed committed to those vows. Unfortunately for me, my ex-husband seemed to take the first out he could get. I’ll be the first to admit that I wasn’t always pleasant to be around, but I don’t think I deserved any of the treatment that I received toward the end of our marriage.

I work in design. It is a stressful position, filled with long hours in the office, working at home and meeting deadlines. My husband and I had been dating for 7 years. He spent the entire year before we were together finishing up med school and building a really close friendship with me. We were friends first, and I loved that about our relationship. He went all out during the holidays of our eighth year together and hired the mall Santa to be a part of his proposal. He acted like he wanted me to take his nephews to see Santa, so we went one afternoon at his suggestion. There was an old guy taking pictures and giving out little gifts. After the boys had taken their picture with Santa, the photographer asked me to take one for fun. He said to open my gift and look surprised. You can imagine my face when I opened the box to a sparkling ring. Then Santa pulled off his beard and it was my boyfriend asking me to marry him!

We were married the following year and things seemed to be going well. One day while at work, I had a bad anxiety attack and ended up in the hospital. I was diagnosed with anxiety and fatigue and told to take some time off work. Things just seemed to get worse from there. I couldn’t get through my day without being on edge or just feeling down. I was diagnosed with severe depression and started taking medication, but the damage had been done. My husband had started taking on extra shifts and claiming that he had to do entire weekends working in the hospital. I knew to expect that sort of thing with him being a doctor, but I was barely seeing my husband and most of the time my calls and texts went unanswered. When he did come home, he was short with me and acted like he just didn’t want to be there, then his phone would ring and one of his friends would ask him to go out to the bar, and he would hop right up like his old self and take off. I reached a point where I just couldn’t take it any more. I knew when his lunchtime was, so I went up to the hospital so we could just sit and talk. I asked the receptionist to page him but she told me that he wasn’t in that day. In fact, there had been quite a few days that he claimed he was working when he wasn’t even on duty.

I confronted him later that night. He lied and denied at first, then finally came out with the fact that he wasn’t satisfied in our marriage and had instead been partying with friends and dating some young nurse on the side. He blamed my issues on the breakdown of the marriage. Yes, my bought of depression and anxiety that lasted a few weeks was the reson behind my husband lying, cheating and leaving me. Thanks, you really stuck those rough times out!

The Sweetest Guy You Could Know

I met this guy named Chase at my cousin’s wedding. He was a friend of another cousin’s and he was super cute. He was a bit shy, but as the night went on he got more comfortable with me and we ended up having a great time. After the wedding, we went out for a late night bite to eat and a drink. We stayed out until 3AM, then parted ways with a hug. He asked if he could call me the next day and take me out. He called the next morning and offered to take me to dinner that night. He told me to pick the place and to pretty much tell him what my dream date was so that he could try to make it happen. It was like a dream come true. After that night, things started moving really fast and we were spending nearly every day together. We had decided to make things official and he said that he had never met someone as perfect as me and could see himself spending the rest of his life with me. It was a little soon, but I had started to feel the same way. It just felt so right, so natural.

By month 3, we were staying over at either my place or his, mostly mine during the week and his on the weekends. We kept things separate though, so I didn’t keep anything at his house and he didn’t keep anything at mine. We had talked about living together and getting engaged, and had decided that we were going to wait until after the holidays passed and start the process. One night, we were sitting around watching movies and eating takeout and his phone would not stop ringing. He eventually silenced it, saying that it was a friend who wanted to borrow his car. Then, there was a huge bang at the door and this girl started screaming. Apparently he had a girlfriend of 3 years, whom he had failed to break up with before he started to date me, and who he had continued to date while dating me. I guess he had decided to leave her and pursue things with me and he had told her that morning that they were finished and the reason why. He asked me to leave so that I wasn’t put in the middle of the drama. He called me the next morning to tell me that he really wanted to be with her and apologized for ever getting involved with me. Thanks @$$hole!