My sister dates this douche named David who refers to himself as Big D. He’s not very big or intimidating, or anything of the sorts. He’s just a little trust fund kid with a big ego and a bank account to match. We both met him one night at a lounge. Everyone was just hanging out and having a good time, then he like fell in love with my sister and couldn’t take his eyes off of her for the rest of the night. We all went out for breakfast the next morning and we ate at this expensive place downtown. He bought bottles of expensive champagne for the table and talked about himself and his friends most of the time. I could see right through him, but it was too late for my sister – she had fallen for him hard. He flew her to Las Vegas a few weeks later, and she came back with a shopping spree’s worth of shoes and handbags. He was buying her and she was allowing herself to be bought.
Now I know you are probably thinking how or why this bothers me and why I’m posting this story. Well, the answer is that it is killing me to watch my sister, who has always been so nice and down to earth, turn into a spoiled little “mean girl.” She walks around like she owns the place but I know that she isn’t happy. She has crazy mood swings now and is always stressing about keeping him happy. she can do the smallest things and he will totally blow up on her, then I have to sit with her as she cries on my shoulder because he has called her all sorts of names and has threatened to leave her. They argue almost every day because nothing is ever good enough for the @sshole. She made dinner, he wanted to go out. She dyed her hair, he said that it was too dark and didn’t look good on her face. And when she does manage to satisfy him, he makes this huge deal and is all over her like some creep or posts all these cheesy “I love you’s” to her on facebook and insta. She needs to see him for what he is and stop allowing herself to be controlled by this guy. I have tried everything I can to get these two apart, but nothing has worked. I just don’t know what to do anymore and I don’t want to see my sister get hurt. I know that this is probably something that will have to happen in her own time and that no one can make her see different of her boyfriend because she loves him so much. I would just hate myself for letting my sister get dragged down the path to misery by some guy waving his cash around.
I’m just going to put this out there first – never date when you’re single and pregnant. Now, continue.
I moved to Texas in Feb. 2012 a week after I found out I was pregnant. After living with the father of my child in the previous months, his alcoholism and addictions to medications came to the light. There was absolutely no way I could let him be apart of my child’s life. I moved here with basically nothing; however, by the time May rolled around, I landed a job as a nurse’s assistant and started saving money while living with my mom and step dad. I didn’t know anyone, so I decided that it wouldn’t hurt to download this app on my phone called POF (Plentyoffish) and meet some people – make some friends. Little did I know, this website is full of fake people and @ssholes that just want to get laid. Don’t get me wrong though, I’ve met some pretty great friends off this site. However…I met this one guy named Justin who recently moved from Boston. He was living with his sister and brother-in-law, had no car, and worked as a supervisor at a CVS. Why I thought he was something special, don’t ask me. I told myself I wanted the best for my child and for myself. I would never settle again. But this guy wrapped me around his little finger.
Since I didn’t have a car either, I’d take the bus to his area and we’d walk the city or to the movies. Of course, he had no money because he “had to pay his sister for rent”. Yes – that was a load of crap. After three weeks of dating, he had told me 1)He loved me, 2) We were meant to be together, 3) He wanted to be like a father to my child, 4) That he wanted to live together, 5)Do you see where this is going? The bad part is, I believed it. Who would be so cruel to make this up? Anyways, this is where it gets bad. After three weeks, he began to get distant and wouldn’t try to talk to me as often. I confronted him and asked him why he didn’t make the effort to talk to me like he used to. He said, “I’m busy working a lot, and trying to work for you and *&*#&*(my child’s name) so that we can get a place together. Yeah, ok.
At this time I was 23 weeks pregnant. One day, I went into work, and half an hour into my shift, I started bleeding. I got admitted into my hospital for a pregnancy complication, but we found that it wasn’t serious. The experience was still very scary to me, and the worst part was, my parents were out of town in San Francisco so I didn’t have anyone to keep me company and make me feel better. I texted my boyfriend and asked him if he could somehow get to the hospital, whether it be getting a cab or having his sister bring him. He said he would try, but then didn’t text me until two hours later. I asked him if he had found a way to get to me, and he said, “No. I’m sorry.” That’s all he said. I was hysterical. Why couldn’t he have his sister bring him? I needed someone and I was in the hospital all alone with no family or friends! Then he texted me and said, “I can’t do this anymore. This is too hard Megan.”
Yes, this @sshole broke up with me in the hospital with pregnancy complication. The best part is, he messaged me on facebook a week later asking me if I could return the library book I borrowed (we went to the library together). That’s it. MOTherFKKR.
It’s not over yet. Recently I decided to get back on this website. I ended up talking to one of his friends who was also on the website as well. I told him about what his friend did to me, and he said, “Yeah he told me he was on that website to F**# as many girl as he could.”
Ha, not me! End of story.
When I was in college, I started hanging out with my professor’s assistant for an anthropology class that I was taking. His name was Mark and we first met when I went to his office hours to discuss some of the notes I had taken in lecture earlier. As soon as he opened the door to let me in his office, it was like an instant connection. There was just something in his eyes that pulled me in. We talked for over an hour, then he started asking me more personal questions, like what I liked to do in my spare time, where I was from, etc. He ended up walking across campus with me because I had another lecture to get to. He said that he wanted me to email him later on with my thoughts about the reading, so I did. He responded about an hour later and invited me to meet him for coffee the next day. We met and I realized that I was crushing hard! Then he dropped the bomb on me: he was married with two kids. I deflated inside and felt like crying. Even though he had told me that he was married with a family, he didn’t stop flirting. He complimented me on everything, said I had the most beautiful smile that he had ever seen, then he brushed my hair out of my face while I was reading. Our affair started that day. He came back to my apartment and we had sex that night, then he went home. I hated that he had to leave.
As the weeks passed, we devised our little methods to sneaking around without getting caught or making anyone suspicious. He saved my phone number under a colleague’s name, we never texted anything dirty, and any sweet talk was done either over the phone or in person, so that no one accidentally stumbled upon anything incriminating. I aced that class and never had to do a thing. Since he was responsible for grading, he just entered my A’s into the system. I fell in love with that man and I hated that we couldn’t be together for real. I swear, I was the only student in school who actually looked forward to Mondays and hated the weekends, except for this one magical weekend that he told his wife that he was going to a workshop in southern California, but really we went on a beautiful long weekend by the beach. There were times where he would bring up leaving his wife for me but he would always come to the conclusion that he had to be there for his kids. Damn kids. I wanted him all to myself and it wasn’t fair that I had to share him.
One Saturday night, a friend of mine invited me to eat at this cute little restaurant by campus. The spot was popular for dates because it was dimly lit and they had an awesome drink and dessert menu. When we were seated, I decided to go to the bathroom before we ordered. On my way, I pass a couple hugged up in a booth. I just stood there in shock because there was my boyfriend with another girl. I asked him what he was doing there, but he just tried to play it off as though I was just another student of his. He kept talking over me whenever I would say something, then he said “how about you just come to my office hours next week so we can go over everything.” Then he turned back to his date and continued hugging on her and whispering in her ear. I went to the bathroom and lost it. I texted my friend that I needed to leave because of an emergency and I got the hell out of there. He called me later and asked if I had a few hours for him. Since I wanted answers about who he was at dinner with, I agreed to see him. He came in and acted like nothing had happened. I questioned him about everything and he just looks at me and says “we never said we were exclusive. I’m not interested in anything like that with you. I’ve got enough to deal with at home.” So everything that I had believed about our relationship was a lie. The idea that maybe one day we could be together full time was a lie. We talked for a while and he basically laid it out as either we could continue to date and sleep together, with the understanding that that was it, no further expectations, and I had to understand that I might not be the only other girl in his life. If I couldn’t accept those terms, then we could end things right there. He didn’t care either way. I tried to see the positives in the situation but it just left me in a dark sad place.
I know that most of you probably won’t take pity on me and that I am probably going to get bashed for what I did, but until you lived a day in my shoes you shouldn’t be so quick to judge. My husband and I had been high school sweethearts. We had started dating at the beginning of junior year and got married 6 months after we graduated from college. Our first few years together were awesome. We were young, we had fun and we were in love. He played baseball and football and I was on the dance team. We went to college together and were always seen as that “it” couple who would be together forever.
A couple months after we got married, I found out that I was pregnant. We had always talked about kids and everyone was very excited for us. This is the point where we started going in opposite directions. Even though I was pregnant, I still tried to eat right and exercise. My husband on the other hand had more cravings than I did and gained just as much if not more weight than me. By the time our son was born he just looked chubby. I tried so many ways to encourage him to lose the weight but he would always fight me and say that he was happy just the way he was. I was so frustrated by the situation that I could barely stand to look at him anymore. He didn’t care about his appearance or keeping his wife happy, and I started feeling like I was falling out of love. I tried talking to him about it but he just said that if my love for him was only based on looks, then he hadn’t married the girl he fell in love with years ago. I felt like I was the same person, and that there was nothing wrong with me wanting to wake up to the same man that I fell in love with. not some fat slob.
One evening, my parents came by and offered to take our son for the night so that we could get some alone time. We decided to start the night with a movie. I went upstairs and changed into a cute little date night outfit. Halfway through getting ready, I notice that my husband is dressed and waiting for me. He has on his old jeans and sweatshirt that he wears every weekend. We ended up in a huge fight over my not wanting to go anywhere with him looking like that. That was the last straw for me. I signed up for a hook up site for married people that night. I was really just looking to get some of the attention that I was craving, but one thing led to another and I ended up having two affairs. They have both ended and my husband has no idea about either of them. I begged him over and over to put in the effort but he just didn’t care.
There is this girl named Lana who I have secretly had a crush on for the past 3 years. She is beautiful, smart, popular and loved by everyone at school. She is like the dream girlfriend you see in movies. By those standards, I guess I could be considered the guy who could never get a girl like that. I’m not a major geek or anything, but I have straight A’s, run cross country, build robots, and enjoy doing the most random things. Lana and I were always friendly. We had both gone to a smaller private K-8 school in town, so we were in every class together. Something happened soon after we started high school and I just couldn’t stop thinking about her. I was incredibly nervous around her all of a sudden, she had a serious hold on me. I was crushed when we came back from Winter break and I found out that Lana had started dating Brian. I was just deflated and so mad at myself for letting chance after chance pass me by. I resolved to pick myself up and move on, make the best of my high school experience.
Lana and Brian broke up toward the end of sophomore year and I saw another chance to tell her how I felt. By the time I finally saw her during the first week of summer she was already dating this other guy named Ty. Lana and I had a bunch of classes together junior year so we were hanging out more and texting/chatting outside of school. One night, my phone rings and it’s Lana. We didn’t have any assignments to work on so I was surprised to hear from her. She was on the other end of the line crying her eyes out. She said that Ty had been cheating and had dumped her for some other girl. I wanted to tell her how I felt then but just thought it wasn’t the right time. At that moment she needed someone to offer support, not try to slide into her ex’s place. We started talking a lot and one night I just worked up the courage and did it. I told her everything, then finished the night by sending her a poem I had written about her.
Lana said that she wanted to start slow and not really tell people about us. I was fine with that, but I didn’t like how she was still hanging around a bunch of guys and flirting right in front of me. One day we were sitting out in the courtyards during lunch and Ty comes over and asks to speak to Lana in private. She didn’t even glance my way, she just went with him to sit under a tree. They were there for a really long time and I wasn’t just going to sit there and be walked all over. I went over to them and asked Lana to come with me inside. Ty jumps up saying he’d kick my @ss if I ever try to hit on his girl again. Then he told me that he had read my poem and that it was so gay and desperate, he just couldn’t resist forwarding it to a bunch of people at school. All this time, Lana just stood there, and when Ty turned to her and said “let’s go.” she walked away with him. By the end of lunch, people were laughing and reading my poem out loud whenever I was around. I was humiliated. I left school early ans=d went home hurt and angry. Around 4 I got a text from Lana that said “Sorry about that. He went through my phone. You are such an awesome friend! ” I couldn’t believe that she could be so passive about the whole situation and not even consider my feelings. I was sumped and became the joke of the school in one lunch period. Oh, and I learned that the girl whom I had kept on a pedestal for years was a shallow idiot, who would rather be with the popular guy who cheats rather than the regular guy who treated her how she deserved to be treated.
I started dating a guy named Ross about 3 years ago. I met him at a friend’s house one night and we just sort of clicked. He was super cool about everything, to the point where he almost came off as cocky but once you got to know him he was one of the nicest and most sensitive guys you could ever meet. Ross had grown up singing and playing the guitar. He also played the piano, the drums, and just about every other instrument in the music store, but the guitar was his passion. You can imagine how in love I was when he would take me to the roof on warm starry nights and play a little song he had written just for me.
A few months into our relationship, Ross joined this new band. They mainly played locally but would occasionally travel a few hours out of town to play gigs. I enjoyed accompanying Ross to his shows, but after a while it started to feel like that was all we were doing. Wednesday through Saturday nights, he played gigs at a few bars. On nights when he wasn’t performing he would say that he was too exhausted to go anywhere and that he just wanted to stay in and write music. The novelty wore off quickly. I grew bored with hearing the same songs night after night. So I told Ross that I might start staying home some nights or making other plans with my friends. He seemed really offended by the idea that I didn’t want to attend every performance and he told me to do what made me happy, so I did. I have my own life outside of Ross, and I refused to be guilted into following him around just to keep him happy.
Ross came to me a few months ago and told me that he was going on a two month tour. I was so excited for him and immediately started planning out how I could see as many performances of his on the road as possible, but he just told me not to make a big fuss of it. He said that he wanted me to come see him but that I shouldn’t go through the trouble of traveling so much to his shows, one would be enough….When he got back from his tour three weeks ago, I founf out why he declined my offer to come see him perform on the road. He had started sleeping with a girl from the band named Stacy. When I wasn’t around at shows, Stacy figured that we had broken up and she had made her move on him. He found that he was so intrigued by her that he couldn’t resist and he said that he just fell in love instantly. I felt like my feet had been kicked out from under me. He was standing there telling me how he had fallen in love with someone else and how he wanted to break things off between us to pursue a relationship with her, because feelings like this were so rare. He topped all of this off with telling me that she could offer him the understanding and support that an artist needs, something that I would never be able to give him.