At the beginning of my second year of college, I started dating a guy named Aaron. He and I had hung out a lot during freshman year, but nothing ever happened between us. He came by my dorm suite one night and asked to grab dinner with me. While we were out, Aaron tells me that he has liked me since we met and asked me to be his girlfriend. It was so unexpected but I was still over the moon! We saw each other every day, which kind of sped things along. We were at “I love you” by Halloween and I even went home with him for Thanksgiving. Aaron became one of the most important people in my life. I must admit that my friendships, and even some of my studies took a backseat to our relationship. I skipped so many labs that I was on the verge of being dropped from my Chemistry class, but I so badly wanted the evenings we spent together, that I ended up withdrawing from the class late and taking the mark on my record. One warm spring evening, I was sitting out on the grass waiting for Aaron to meet me. 10 minutes after he was supposed to get there, he sends me a text that says “I’m not coming. Sorry. I’ll talk to you tomorrow” I don’t think so! He was totally blowing me off for the night! I called him, knowing that if he had just texted me he was definitely within earshot of the phone. He didn’t answer any of my calls, so I went up to his floor in our residence hall and knocked at the door. When Aaron answered he looks me right in the eyes and says “I was trying to figure out the nicest way for this but whatever……… I just want to be single again. The whole girlfriend thing is too much. Bye.” Aaron waited a few seconds for me to say something, then he just shut the door in my face. I heard through a friend that he said I had turned into a clingy wife, and was way too much for college. I was heartbroken, but he was just fine, going out and hanging with girl after girl. After all, to him our relationship was “just a college thing.”
My ex, Dustin, seemed to be one of the “perfect” men in the world…boy, was I wrong. I met Dustin when we started working in a home improvement store together. I was working my way through college and he was just working. I was 18 and he was 22, young I know but the stupidity of this relationship was just mind boggling to me then and still to this day.
He was definitely my type of guy and we started texting, then going to lunch together, and then hanging out after work, and then stupidly enough having sex, and then we got into a relationship. Being young we were an on and off couple and I was usually the one to break things off when we did think we needed time apart. He started talking about marriage then it was kids and how he had always dreamed about having a little sidekick (referring only to having a son). That became too much for me being so young and not wanting to give up my college degree before having children so I could provide a good life for them. So I ended things for a while.
My second year of college rolled around and by January we were a couple again and stayed that way. He witnessed my stupidity while driving and I totaled my car by crashing into a tree while he was following me (it was supposed to be going into the shop). I was hospitalized for two days and then released, at that point I lost my job because I couldn’t handle being on my feet constantly. Well, when I lost my job he quit his (living at home with his parents he could afford it). He started going through my text messages and answering my phone, going through my mail, and my FB page. Anything that was personal he went through. If we were out and someone said hello or stopped and talked to me for a moment man or woman he was barking orders at them and asking me a never ending sting of questions about them. Then he set the “ground rules”, I had to be with him from the time I woke up until I went to bed. I wasn’t allowed to have my phone unless he checked it first. And I was not allowed to do anything with any of my friends or family. At this point, I should have ended everything for good, but being young I thought that he loved me and he was just really scared after he watched my serious car wreck. Just being the over protective boyfriend, that I had had many times before. In February, he proposed to me and I finally gave in, knowing it wasn’t what I wanted but I wanted to make him happy. In March, I found out I was pregnant.
I called him and let him know the news and he refused to believe me. I literally had to take a pregnancy test with him watching. The months past and we were fighting constantly, my hormones were raging and I couldn’t keep my emotions in check which is understandable considering my state. In July, we found out that we were having a daughter. His mom, him, and my mom were in the room during the ultrasound. They also told us that there was about a 50% chance that our daughter would have down syndrome. I broke down in tears, which would be a normal reaction for anyone. What is the first thing he says to me once we leave the office, in front of our mothers? “You aren’t having a girl they’re wrong.” After both mothers explain that the doctors weren’t wrong and that the sperm actual makes up the sex of a child he went crazy. He accused me of cheating because he was “only capable of creating tough little boys”. Stupid? Trust me, I know.
The next month I went to a bigger city for a schedule two ultrasound and they let me know that my baby would not have down syndrome that the spot they found was just a build up of calcium. My boyfriend just said, “Well, if the baby comes out retarded it’s not mine.” At that point I was done, he put me into the situation that I was in and had let me know that he did by putting holes in his condoms, but like the good girl my family wanted me to be I was going to stick out for my daughter, although he made me sick at this point. We stopped having sex completely and I stayed home a lot more since I had stopped going to college because he had asked me to. I was getting depressed and not wanting to talk to anyone and a few more months roll by and I’m coping and enormous. In November, he wanted to go out clubbing with his “boys”, I told him to have a good time since I was due in a few weeks and wouldn’t expose myself or the baby to any of that. He told me that if I didn’t celebrate his birthday with him how he wanted we were finished. I, of course, stayed home. At 4 a.m. he is pounding on my door so I let him in. He proceeded to tell me he was not the father of my child and never would and a lot more things, including that he was in love with another girl who was pregnant with his baby.
I was in complete shock, I had never thought that he was cheating on me and here I was pregnant and he had gotten another girl pregnant too. It was a train wreck, my mom kicked him out and called his mom to pick him up on the front porch because she took his keys not wanting him to kill himself before she got the chance to. He then left me alone, I didn’t see or hear from him in the days to follow and I cried a lot. About 5 days later our daughter was born, no one called him or his family but he showed up the next morning some how knowing that I was there and begged me to take him back. I refused, and when I did his new girlfriend walked into my hospital room and said “I told you so” and walked back out.
The nurses and security had to remove him from my room and two months later he was trying to get full custody of my daughter. After all the evidence, he gets to see her two days a month for a total of two hours a day while in my presence and not a drop more.
My daughter is now 8 months old, his now ex-girlfriend’s baby is 5 months old and said that he was crazy controlling and possessive, which I experienced along the way as well.
Karma is a real bitch. I hate it for him, but he gets everything he deserves from it… and someone who is 10x crazier than he is.
This was a long time ago that I had this horrific date but I just started reading this site and thought people would enjoy this tale.
So I was lonely and looked to the internet for a fun date. I had talked to this guy for a few months on MSN messenger and he seemed really nice and his pic he was kinda over weight but not bad looking so we decided to go to the movies with my friends.
I gave him my address (yes I know this was stupid I realise that now lol. Well my friends and I were in the games room of my house and the door bell rang. My lil sister ran off to answer the door cause she was excited to see this guy. Well next thing I know she was running into my room and just said “kitkat31 hide!!!” Well I didn’t need to be told twice I dropped to the floor and started scooting under my bed.
My friends told me to get up stop being silly but at that point he walked into the room because my mom had seen what my sister did and let him in.
I pretended I was just getting something from under my bed, but omg when I looked at him….it was bad. It became obvious that wasn’t a picture of himself he had sent. No. Infront of me stood a morbidly obese guy, WITH a hunch back! and his eyes were crossed. I was in complete shock.
Well, I decided might as well get this date over with and be nice to him atleast. So we all drove to the movie theatre and he took his own car, I went with my friends and my friend Trevor told me he knew that guy in highschool, everyone called him Lurch since he was so gigantically tall and monster looking :/ I was so embarassed.
My friends asked why on earth was I going on a date with him and I lied and said a friend had hooked us up and they said I should stop being friends with that friend.
At the theatre we went to the concession and I offered to get him some candy because i was getting junior mints but he said no, and we went into the movie. The whole date this guy said nothing else, not another word.
When we got back to my place he finally said “well I guess this isn’t going to work is it?” and I said “uhh no, you lied to me and showed me a fake picture, ontop of that you didn’t say one word during the entire date”.
I walked off and left him standing there. When i got into my house into the living room I looked out just in time to see him peel out on my parents front lawn!!!
The next day I get a chat message on MSN from him telling me he had a great time and wanted to see me again! I said “No you didn’t! and neither did I!! I saw you peel out on my parents fron lawn!” and he lied and said he hadn’t, that’s when i told him I’d seen him do it and then he confessed. I told him to lose my contact information and not to talk to me ever again.
B was, and still is, a paranoid conspiracy theorist, pot smoking bible basher. Harsh words, I know, but there really is no other way to describe him anymore. I’m 27 and by now you’d think I would have learnt to see the red flags. Ah well, we live and learn. At first things were nice, and we both enjoyed being around each other. We had common interests but differed enough to keep it interesting. We dated for 2 months before the weird started coming out. At first it was harmless, like saying I’m as beautiful as an angel which I thought was incredibly sweet. Then it turned to the possibility of having angel blood in my family line. My dad’s family comes from the Pacific Islands and B told me that they were created by fallen angel so basically I had demon blood in me. He became convinced that my younger brother was evil and out to get him. Also that my mother, being a Catholic, was going to die and end up in hell for it. Oh yeah, and that according to the “epiphany” he had while blazing it up one night and reading the bible, God told him in a prophesy that the world is going to start to end in Sept 2014. Sigh…this kept getting worse until it upset me to even see him because I knew all I’d hear was about the end of the world and how he was destined to save me. In the end he stopped treating me as a person and more like a “secret fountain of hidden knowledge of all things divine” His exact words. The real kicker came the night of one of my closets friends birthday. J and I have been friends for years and he is a brother to me. B and I went, where he got that stoned and drunk I had to carry him to bed. He sat there and started telling me that my baby brother was evil and a man whore and he would go to hell. I’m sorry but nobody says that about my brother without just cause. Then he started crying and saying how “nobody understood the painful enlightenment he was going through on the path to divine justice” I sat there and listened to him sob, snot running down his chin, about how evil my friends were and I’d end up in hell right along with them. All I did was calm him down, put him to bed, then went and slept on the lounge. The next day I said my goodbyes. I have to admit he took it better than I thought he would but he was very civil and thanked me for showing him the light, but all I would do was slow him down in God’s mission for him so this was probably better for both of us.
Last I heard, his mum told me he has pretty much locked himself in his own house. It’s a shame really. He wasn’t always like that.
This breakup literally just happened yesterday so I apologize if I’m a bit on the emotional side or if it’s really long. I just want to make sure I add everything so things can’t be misconstrued.
I met Matt online at a dating site. He was funny and unique which set him apart from the others. Our first date was at an arcade and I thought he was the most handsome, intelligent, and amazing thing I’d ever met. He invited me out that evening to go trivia a few days later with friends and from, there, we spent all our time together, either texting or seeing each other. The first night I stayed over, he made me breakfast in bed and ran out to get me coffee. He was nothing but a romantic, sweet gentleman and I was totally smitten. About two months in, I couldn’t keep my feelings inside any longer and confessed my love for him. He didn’t return it immediately but I was alright with that, knowing that he loved me as well but didn’t know how to articulate it. A month later, he finally did. We were so wonderful together, so happy. I was his first serious relationship since high school (we are both in early 30’s) and knew this would be a learning curve for him. I did everything – I cleaned the house, I made dinner, went grocery shopping, and did everything for him I possibly could. When he was fired from his job, I stepped up and financially supported him to the best that I was able. I was so utterly in love with this man that I imagined us marrying one day and having children together. For the first time in my life, I was able to find an equal and someone I could be my whole entire self with. We moved in shortly after the new year and I was beyond happy that things were getting serious (I’d pretty much stayed at his house 6 days out of the week before this so it was not a huge deal that I moved in).
When he got a new job making nearly double what he made before, I was nothing short of supportive and happy for him. He left for training for three weeks and we kept in touch. It was the longest we had been apart since dating and I knew it would be a bit of a trial. During that time, I had the chance to sing the national anthem at a stadium. He drove 14 hours to come and see me perform and returned to training the next day. I knew he loved me before then but that act only proved to me how deeply he cared about me and I allowed myself to fall deeper in love with him. When he returned, however, and started his new job, he began acting like a different person. He began withdrawing from me and I would do everything to understand and have him explain his change. I gave him space, I poured more love into things, and I bought him little gifts and made him his favorite meals. I did everything I thought I should do to help him remember what we had. One evening, I was using the computer and went to check my gmail. It took me a minute to realize it was his and not mine (his automatically opened) and I noticed a message from an adult dating website regarding matches. I’m ashamed to admit that I freaked. I went through all of his emails and then went to Facebook. Again, his was opened, so I snooped. I found nothing and was totally ashamed at myself for being so untrusting. I asked him about the adult site the next day and he said it was from before we ever dated and it was spam. When he looked on his history and saw what I had done, he flipped. He stormed out the house and didn’t return for hours. I was devastated that I had done this and was so utterly ashamed. I’d never ever broached his privacy before and never snooped. I wasn’t that person and was so upset that I had done that.
When he returned, I apologized profusely and after two days, we both agreed to try and move past it. After that, things were rocky but we were doing well. He seemed to make a genuine effort to move past it and I was so happy and thankful for the second chance. Then the bomb dropped. He had always had a best friend, a girl, since high school. She was always in the relationship but I gave him space and trusted him. I always felt there was something there between them but he deduced this to my being jealous and I would just bite my tongue and try to be the better person. I did everything to try and be friends with this girl, even letting her be my hair dresser. He had been invited to go to an amusement park with friends for a weekend and I told her that I was sad he was leaving. She didn’t really say much about it but said that it would only be a few days. I was hurt I hadn’t been invited but sucked it up, given our issue not long ago. Then I found out right before he left that his girl friend was going with him and would be sharing a room with him. I flipped out. The dishonesty and shadiness surrounding the situation was too much. He tried ending it again that day, saying I was too insecure and that he didn’t know if he had the heart to continue the relationship. I went off on him, calling him a coward for not trying and just trying to run away from what we had after a year together. Sure we had hit a rough patch, but it wasn’t the end and we had to be strong to get through it. I was going to be leaving for three weeks to the UK and wanted him to at least give us until after that to decide. I thought the time apart would help.
When he came back from his weekend, he was nothing short of sweet and wonderful. I thought I had gotten through to him and he realized what we had. Up until I left for the UK, he was wonderful. We seemed to be getting stronger and back to what we were. When I left, he kissed me passionately and promised to keep in touch. And we did. We emailed, we skyped, and I thought I would return home and it would be okay. When I did, he said he missed me terribly and loved me. I felt like it was getting better and that the time apart had been good. And then she started to text him again. It used to be off and on, nothing too crazy or demanding, and then it became so much worse and every day at all hours. I knew they hung out when I was in the UK and knew they were best friends so I didn’t question it. But when I returned she made every effort to be in our way. His car was having issues so I drove him to work every morning at 5am and picked him up after my job. Every day he told me he loved me and we were doing so well, minus her continually texting like crazy and demanding to see him on his days off. Then he got his new car this Friday. I was so happy for him and when Sunday came and he had to help his girl friend move, I was supportive. He left at 8am and didn’t return until midnight – a little long, but I let it be. Then Monday came – a day we both had off – and I woke up to him playing games in the front room. I drank my coffee and asked him what he planned for the day. He said he was going to relax and enjoy his day. 20 minutes later, the girl texts him, asking to come hang a curtain rod. He literally abandoned his game, rushed into the shower, and was out the door with cologne on to go and see her. He kissed me and left saying it would be a couple of hours. It was then I just knew it was over. I broke down sobbing and called my mom, asking for advice. It was obvious, given the signs, that she was his priority now and not me. So I packed up my things, taking apart the home I built with him, and sobbing because I’d have to leave our dog (the dog he rescued when we first started dating). I waited until 3pm before I left to go to my mom’s, not having anywhere else to go. I took my cat and as much clothing as I could fit in the car and left.
Hours later I texted him and he said he noticed I was gone but didn’t say anything else. I called him to talk and he confessed he had fallen out of love with me, and had tried to get it back but it wasn’t there. Ever since I made that mistake with the email he said he wasn’t able to move past it and despite everything, didn’t want to. When I asked him about his friend, asking to just be honest with me if there was something there he wouldn’t admit to anything and just said she was his friend and he’d do anything for her. I still have to go and get the rest of my things from the house and I’m still shattered by all of this. Why tell someone you love them every day and give them hope when it isn’t going to work in the long run? How long did he plan to keep up this facade? Why let them buy birth control if you plan on ending it or let them clean and organize your home if you don’t want a home with them any longer? These are the things I am struggling to understand and comprehend. I can’t help but feel used and betrayed. I saw the signs but I kept thinking we’d move past it all given how much hope he kept giving me. In the end, I’m utterly shattered. I know his friend is just playing games with him and that’s what hurts all the more – that he chose her over me. Even his mom and other friends apologized, telling me I was good for him and that we seemed so happy together. I guess that’s the joy of relationships though, right?
I met Anette on a dating website. We had chatted for a few days, and spoke on the phone late one night. We decided to meet up for drinks over the weekend at this new place outside of town. She must have been drinking before she got there, because she was drunk before we had our first round and completely wasted within a couple hours. There was no way I was going to let her drive home in that condition, so I asked her if she wanted a ride home. She outright refused to let me take her home, so I asked her where she wanted me to drop her off. Anette got really touchy feely and asked to come back to my place. I immediately thought the situation was sketchy but didn’t have too many options that late at night. I took her back to my house, where she proceeded to get fully nude in the middle of my living room, go outside and puke in my bushes, then come back in and try every trick she knew to get me to sleep with her. I wanted no part of it because the whole thing just felt really sleazy. There has been a time or two where I have slept with a girl I met at the bar that night, but this girl was so sloppily drunk that it wasn’t worth it. I gave her a blanket and a pillow, sat a glass of water on my coffee table, and asked her one more time if there was anyone I could call for her but she just passed out. The next morning, she was still knocked out on my couch, even though I tried to stay in bed late to give her some time to get herself together. I woke her up and told her that I was getting ready to head out for the day. She mumbled something about calling her friend and asked for my address. About an hour later, her friend Liz shows up to take her back to her car. She gets Anette up from the couch, grabs her stuff, then looks at me and said “sorry about this. She does this kind of stuff pretty often, but she’s married…..Sorry and thanks for taking care of her.” I have never felt such shock and relief all at once. She was just looking to screw around on her husband and had a habit of going home with men she didn’t really know. I closed my door and went to take the longest, hottest shower I could stand.