After a few months, we decided it was time to take things further, and we introduced the kids to each other. It was like instantly we were one big happy family. He had custody of his daughter because her mom was psycho, and they both started spending more time at my house than they did at their own. After a few more months, we decided to get married and move in together. I couldn’t have asked for a better life at that point, and then we found out we were pregnant, so that made things even better. We had a healthy baby boy and our family was complete. We were always on the go and took more family vacations in 2 years than I had in my entire life.

Then one day his hours got cut at work. We were still okay financially. I made enough to support all of us, and he had only taken a 10 hour/week cut. It seemed to work at first, he was able to pick the kids up from school so they didn’t have to go to afterschool care anymore. Then his mom started taking them every day because he had “stuff” to do. The stuff he had to do started taking up more of his time. I figured it out one day when a text message popped up on his phone from some girl asking him if they could see each other tomorrow. I wasn’t snooping. I was sitting right next to him, so of course I could see it, even when he tried his hardest to delete the message thread while I demanded to see it. We had the biggest fight you could imagine, then it all came out. He had met some girl one afternoon at the gym and they had since been carrying on an affair. He claimed that it wasn’t love, and it was all about the escape she offered him from his home life (like that was some sort of excuse). He leaves and stays gone for the entire weekend. He strolls in Sunday night, with my favorite ice cream asking me if I was still mad. Of course I was still mad, but it only got worse when he said that he would stop sleeping with her but that he was going to keep her as a friend, because she was someone he could talk to. When I refused to accept that, he goes into a rage, packs up his stuff and leaves. He came back the next day to get the rest of his and his daughter’s stuff. That beautiful little girl, whom I had loved like my own daughter, was gone in the blink of an eye. He must have forgot that he left his other child behind, because it was weeks before he even called to check on our son. At first, we were civil enough to arrange for visits, but it didn’t take long before he stopped showing up and calling all together. I recently sued him for child support, but he is contesting it, claiming that I cheated throughout our entire relationship. But at least my kids and I are happy and healthy, and that is all I can ask for right now.

As time went on, we spent the majority of our time together at his house. I thought it was cute that his mother would pop in from time to time and check on him, or offer us food when she was cooking, but then I started to see how much of a monster she had created. He randomly decided one day that he didn’t like his job, so he quit. We had been talking about getting a place together, but I didn’t see how that was going to happen with him being unemployed. He had a little saved, but soon squandered that on booze, weed, and friends. Then he started hitting me up for money. I would give him some here and there, but made it very clear that he would need to find a job ASAP. One night, we got into a horrible fight. He wanted $60 so that he could go hang out with friends. When I refused, he threw the biggest fit ever, calling me all kinds of names. His mom comes in and asks him what’s wrong. He explained the situation to his mom, and I was completely floored when she looks at me and tells me “Just give him the money. It wasn’t a problem when he was taking you out on dates.” She then starts in on me being ungrateful and how wonderful her son is, blah, blah. Then his dad comes in and tells me that he will go to the ATM and get $60 for me since I was making such a huge deal about it. All the while, their son is in the corner throwing a fit because I told him no. I had had enough. I grabbed my bag and just walked out. If they wanted to give their loser son, money, they could be my guest, but no one was going to force me to give him anything.

He must have gotten what he wanted, because I didn’t hear from him for days. When he did finally call, it was to ask me to brig food over to him. I told him that I was still upset about the other night, but he didn’t seem to care, he just wanted to know if I was bringing food. When I told him to go get his own food, he goes off again, then tells me that he doesn’t want to be with me anymore, that his mom had told him that night to dump me and he thought it best to follow her advice. I actually laughed because I couldn’t believe how ridiculous the situation had gotten. I was fine with the break up, it was better than dating him and his parents anyway.

Within the 3 months, we started fighting more and more, and talking less and less. Every time I would bring up the question of me coming out there, he would just say that he wanted some time to get settled (huge red flag). As it turns out, he was poking some skank who lived in his apartment complex. The only reason I found out was because facebook suggested I may know her, and when I looked at her posts they were all about hooking up with him (dumb b*tch didn’t even have the sense to make her stuff private). We fought for days, and he blamed most of it on me smothering him .Then, he turned the tables and told me he didn’t feel like dealing with me anymore. He refused to speak to me for 2 weeks. By the time he did finally talk to me, I was so happy to hear from him that I just decided to forgive him for cheating .

He swore I would never have to deal with anything like that ever again, and our relationship continued. I ended up picking up and moving to Arizona myself. He seemed sorta upset at me moving there, but he let me move in with him. I found a job, and took care of all of the household stuff, but he never really seemed to be there much. He was always at the gym, at some friend’s house, or out with co-workers. This just made us fight more. One day, while he was at work late, I decided to go sit by the pool. You can imagine how surprised I was to see his car parked in the visitor’s lot. I knew for sure it was his car because I recognized the license plate. I called him, no answer. I called again, and he answers like he’s super busy, rushing me off of the phone saying that he is trying to wrap up his work. I stood there by his car, then went and sat on a bench nearby to wait for him. After another hour, he finally comes strolling out of the first building, toward his car. I confronted him and demanded to know what was going on. He had never stopped cheating and he said horrible things in that parking lot. According to him, this was his chance to have a fresh start, he was happy without me, never wanted me out there, and hadn’t wanted to be with me since he moved to Arizona. He asked me to go back to California so he could be happy. I was destroyed. I had seen a real future with him. I packed my stuff and got the first flight I could. I got back home and lost it. I was so mad at him for acting like he cared, and then for being so indifferent to dumping me like that. I hate him, and want revenge, he doesn’t deserve to be happy.