A Team Player

I was with my girlfriend for 2 years. When we first got together, she had a part time job and was living with roommates. Within the first few months, that whole situation fell apart for reasons I didn’t find out until way later, and she asked if she could move in with me. I figured it would work temporarily because I didn’t think that we were at the point of thinking about living together on a permanent basis because we hadn’t known each other more than 4 months. I went to her place, helped her pack up her stuff, broke up a fight between her and her friend, then took her to the storage place and paid for 6 months of storage (I didn’t anticipate the situation lasting that long but I got a better deal that way). 2 weeks later, she calls me in the middle of the day and tells me that she can’t handle her boss anymore and that she up and quit her job. I asked her about her plans for an income and she said that she would figure it out right away. She then proceeded to spend the next 2 months sleeping in late, hanging out with her friends and not really doing anything to find another job. There were so many times that I felt like I should just end it, but there was something else about the girl that I just couldn’t let her go. Before I knew it, a whole year had passed and she still wasn’t working. By now she openly admitted that she wasn’t looking to go back to work and referred to herself as a “stay-at-home girlfriend” I told her that I didn’t see a situation like that working. I mean, we didn’t have kids or anything, we didn’t even have a pet, and we both cleaned up so there was absolutely no reason for her to be home every day all day. She tried to sweet talk me about pleasing me whenever I would bring up the topic of her getting a job. She felt like sex was enough to cover her half of things.

Every other weekend, I play in a flag football league with a few buddies. At first, she never wanted to go to our games because they were too early in the morning. After I started telling her more about how much fun they were and all about my friends in the league, she was really excited about going. She had a great time and even suggested that we have a barbecue and invite my team over. It was great that she was becoming a bigger part of my life but we still had a few things that needed to be fixed before I would consider taking the next step with her. Time passed and things still hadn’t changed. I had tried every way I could to make her understand that she needed to start looking for a job, but she never took me seriously.

My breaking point came when I got a call from my friend Greg. He told me that he wasn’t trying to get anything started but that he wanted me to check my email ASAP. A little about Greg: He owns his own business, is a good looking guy (from another guy’s perspective), and drives a nice car. I went to my home office and checked my email. The email from Greg had no less than 20 screenshots of Facebook and text messages to him from my girlfriend. She was basically trying to get an affair started, and when he rejected her saying that she was in a relationship with his good friend, she offered to leave me for him. I was disgusted. This was all because he had money. I was comfortable, but Greg had more money than me. She was nothing more than a gold digger. I called her ex-friend and roommate and asked if she knew of any other relationships with her going after a man for money and she told me that that was the reason they had that huge fight, because she was fed up with her bringing men back to their house even though she was supposed to be in a relationship with me. I called Greg later that day and asked him to play along with her. To act like he finally gave in and agree to have her leave me. We set the whole thing up perfectly! I went to work the following Monday and when I got back, her bags were packed and she was telling me that she had fallen out of love and how her and Greg had become close and that he had approached her weeks ago and told her that he wanted to take care of her and show her love he knew she wasn’t getting from me (I knew she was lying). I acted upset and insulted, but let her go. Greg skyped me and left the video chat running until she got there. The doorbell rang, he answered the door. She tried to come in with some of her stuff but he stopped her. He said to her “you think I would even sleep with your sleazy ass after you use my friend and then leave him for someone else?! Ha! I’d be the biggest idiot in the world. You got what you deserved. Get the f*ck outta here!” She stared crying and saying how much she liked him and how she wanted to prove that she could keep him happy, but he just closed the door in her face and locked the deadbolt. Not even an hour later, and she is banging on my door crying, saying that she had made a huge mistake. I didn’t even respond. I didn’t care if she had nowhere to go, I wasn’t going to do her a single favor. She left after a couple hours and after calling my house and cell phone a total of 136 times. I don’t know where she went, I don’t care. I haven’t talked to her since even though she calls me several times a day and stops by from time to time. I’ve already moved on. I’m not going to cry over her or think about what I could have done differently. She was after something that I wasn’t willing to provide.

It Doesn’t Feel Right

I think I might be getting played by this guy and I’d like a little advice on the situation. I’ll start by saying that I am in high school. I know that high school stories typically rank pretty low around here, but I don’t really have many people that I can talk to who will offer me good advice. My friends just keep telling me to hook up with him and I can’t really talk to my parents.

I met this guy toward the end of the summer, named Kyle. He was actually a friend of a friend’s who I was introduced to at a party. Kyle is cute and we have a lot in common, but he is so hot and cold. Sometimes, he’ll call me and we will talk for hours. Other times, he won’t return my texts or messages at all. I’ll ask him about it and he will say that he is busy with this or that and swear that he will be better. He asked me to be his  girlfriend about a month ago, but things have been no different between us. I see him like twice a month, we talk a couple of times each week, and he seems to always need something. I work part time at my parent’s store, so I have a nice little amount of money put away. At first, I didn’t think twice about spotting him a few dollars for this or that, but now it’s like always something. I have paid phone bills, bought clothes and shoes, and given him cash for God knows what else. He called me last Thursday with a sob story about how he really wanted to take me to his winter dance but didn’t have the money. I gave him the money for the tickets and was really excited to finally be going to a formal event with him. As luck would have it, he got grounded for something the next day and wasn’t allowed to go. I just didn’t buy his story, especially since he was M.I.A. all weekend. He finally called me on Monday saying that his phone had been taken away.  He apologized for us having to miss the dance, then started talking about these shoes that are coming out this week that he didn’t have the money for. He kept hinting that it would be the best Christmas gift ever.  I’m a pretty smart girl, and I know that something isn’t right, but I don’t want to jump to conclusions and think the worst. Any advice?

No more bowling for me…

So this is going to be long, sorry!  I was 21 when I met G online. We met the next day and he showed interest, he would text me everyday and we would chat online for hours. He hadn’t finished HS but somehow got into college and drop out on his 2nd semester, he had no car (only his mom’s which he could use afternoons & weekend nights) & no job (red flag!!) Obviously I didn’t pay attention to this, he was sooo nice to me that I thought maybe if he loved me enough it would all change.  I had a surgery 1 month after we met and he got mad at me & my parents for not answering my phone so he didn’t visit me while I was at the hospital, he only visited me once after the surgery. Then I went on a trip w/my parents where I spent a lot of money on gifts for him, I even got my dad to buy some bowling equipment online for him (which I ended up paying). I came back, he came to visit, took the stuff I bought for him, but instead of watching movies with me or having dinner he said he had a party he couldn’t miss. I was mad but didn’t make a big deal. As time went by he made me go to parties with him every friday & saturday, sometimes even sunday, and if I said I wanted to stay home he said “if you don’t come with me, then it’s over”. I was so in “love” I would do anything to be with him. Things started to get worse, one day we were driving to a bowling alley for his tournament, I got mixed up and gave him directions to the wrong bowling alley, BIG MISTAKE!!! he hit my arm so hard it was almost black, I could barely move it & I had to wear long sleeve in summer for 3 weeks, we were both hungover, slept for 1 hr and slept in, so he was already mad case we were gonna be late for his tournament! I forgave him, he cried, I cried and he said he was sorry and that he would never do that again ,LIE!!! He kept doing it at least once a week,he would get mad at me for any reason. He wasn’t working or studying, so he was on internettil 3-4 am every day, and he made me go to his house after school every day, he even knew how much time it took me to drive from school to his house, and if I was late for sure there would be a fight.I knew he cheated on me, he kept texting & meeting with his exgf, he met girls online (ugly, fat girls) and made them buy stuff for him, I don’t even know when did he hook up w/them, I guess at night, after he left me in my house and he said he was going “home”.  I got pregnant, didn’t tell anyone and he made me have an abortion (biggest mistake of my life) I was so stupid to think I would never find anyone better than him, and I was also scared to be alone, I spent everyday with him since we met.
Eventually I got tired, and went to Canada to study baking & pastry. I planned everything behind his back, and the day I left we had a normal day, bowling tournament, dinner and I even said “goodbye, I’ll call you in the morning”. I left that night and he found out by calling my house & my dad told him I was gone. He contacted me while I was in Canada and begged me to come back, or to let him go with me to Canada, but like always he wanted me to pay for his plane ticket, food, etc…. I didn’t. We did meet when I came back to Mexico, he cried again, I forgive him but I could never be with him again. I met an amazing guy, we got married and had a beautiful baby boy!

Proving My Love

5 years ago, when I was in college, I was dating this guy named Adam. I was head over heels in love with Adam and he would sometimes take advantage of my feelings for him. He would be really mean when he wanted to be, would ignore me for days, would break up with me for no reason, then just act like nothing had ever happened and that we were okay. I was young and naive and just wanted to be with him. I felt like I was willing to put up with anything from him because he would one day realize the error of his ways.

I caught Adam cheating on me one day and I was destroyed. He had left his text messages open and I saw that he had been having sex with some girl who went to our school. I had even seen her around on campus! And she knew he had a girlfriend. He apologized at first, then started saying that it was my fault, that I wasn’t doing enough to keep him satisfied and that is the reason he cheated. Then he broke up with me saying that I was too dramatic and boring. I was destroyed all over again. Not only did he cheat, but now he was breaking up with me. I tried to talk to him about it to see if we could work through our problems but he just ignored me.

He continued to ignore me for a few weeks. I was so depressed that I was missing class and could barely get out of bed. On a Friday night, I got a call from Adam out of nowhere. He acted all cool, and said he was just saying hi. I asked him if we were going to get back together and he just kept saying “I don’t know, we’ll talk about it.” He asked me what I was willing to do to get back with him. I told him that I loved him and I would do anything. He asked me to come to his apartment that night. I was so excited! I got all dolled up and went over. He took me into his room and started asking if I wanted to prove I loved him. He explained that he wanted to see how exciting I was, and he asked me if I would have sex with him and 2 of his friends. I wanted to show him that I could be exciting, so I agreed. Next thing I know, I had had sex with him and his friends, and even allowed another friend to take a video on his phone. I felt excited to be proving myself to Adam and to be getting back together with him.

After the other guys left, I asked Adam if we were now officially back together and he laughed. He said that he had never agreed to get back together with me and that he would never make things official with a slut. I couldn’t believe he had used me like that. It was all some sick game with him and his friends and I was the idiot who agreed. I started hearing rumors that he was showing the video to people and bragging about getting me to sleep with him and his friends. I ended up leaving school from all of the stress he caused. It took a long time, but I finally forgot about Adam and moved on with a new guy whom I love very much.

Someone to Be Thankful For

F*ck being thankful this year. I got played by a skank who took me for everything that I was dumb enough to give to her and then screwed someone I considered a friend. I met her 3 months ago at a BBQ. I didn’t rush things, just got friendly with her and then we sort of became official. She started staying at my place because it was closer to her job in the city. She worked for a financial management company, made good money, had a nice car, and all of the other things I looked for in a girl. She was set on her own, I wouldn’t be responsible for taking care of her right away or anything. Boy was I wrong.

Things started to go bad when she got into a fight with her “roommate”. She called in tears, asking if she could move all of her things in with me. I was hesitant because we were so new, but she really seemed to be in a bind. She explained that she had found out that the roommate had been overcharging her for things and that they had had a huge blowout because of it. She swore she was going to take her to court and recoup her losses, but as we were leaving, the roommate screamed, “now you take care of that freeloading bitch!” I’m tired of her taking advantage of me. Get a job Amy!” She laughed it off as though it was the roommate who was psycho, but it did throw up a red flag for me.

I noticed soon after she moved in that she wasn’t keeping the regular work hours I thought she had. Some days, she would be gone all day, others she might leave for a few hours, then there were days when she never left. When I asked her about it, she said that she was able to split her work between the office and home, so she would telecommute unless she needed to be in the office. Fair enough. After a few weeks, I asked her about covering her share of things since she would be living here, she got a little defensive and explained that with all of this trouble the roommate had gotten her in, that it would be a few weeks before she had money to give me. I told her to deal with that first and help out when she could – huge mistake.

This girl turned bad quickly. I never noticed her doing any work, she never gave me a penny, and she started hanging out with her friends all of the time. She would come and go as she pleased, and I started to have enough of it fast. I told her that I didn’t think things were working out. She cried, promised to be around for me more, and said everything to try to keep us together. And of course, I fell for it. She came to me 2 weeks ago and told me that she had been in touch with a lawyer, who had told her that she definitely had a case against the old roommate, and was set to get thousands of dollars, all she needed to do was pay $3,000. She said that between her money being tied up with the roommate and investments at work, she didn’t have the $3,000 available and needed to borrow $2,000 from me. She said I would get back that and more. I withdrew the money from my account and gave it to her. She disappeared for 4 days. No calls, no texts, nothing. When she finally did resurface, she started going on about some huge family emergency and how she would have to leave town for a few days. I had no idea what was going on, but before I knew it, she was throwing a few bags into her trunk and promising to call me when she got to her parent’s house. Something just wasn’t sitting right. I knew the old roommate’s phone number, so I decided to give her a call to see what was up.

She told me things that you wouldn’t believe. Apparently, Amy didn’t have a job and the only money she brought in was from escorting or having affairs with married men. The nice car she drove was actually a hush gift some guy had given her to not say anything about their rendezvous. The roommate explained that Amy had a habit of moving from guy to guy, collecting what she could and leaving them high and dry.

So, guess who her latest victim was? Yup, this guy right here! I had fallen for her lies, got caught up in her charm, then felt sorry for her when she really seemed to need help. She was gone and wasn’t coming back. She had gotten some money and a place to stay out of me, and was probably on her way to her next victim. I still haven’t heard from her, with the exception of a text that said “things are crazy. Call you later. Love you!”

I Had Enough Of This #@%*!

I’m writing this as my boyfriend of 8 years is on his way to my house. He has no clue tonight’s the night he’s getting dumped. While he’s been been faithful and never laid a hand on me, his actions have left me feeling “dumped” for the last few years. Most of my life, I’ve struggled with no self-esteem and self-confidence. When I met my BF I was so shocked someone liked me, I found myself ignoring his faults. I truly believed I would not find anyone better, and he was going to be it for the rest of my life.

His repeated actions have confirmed my suspicions he only cares about himself. For example, he was laid off from a good job and took a job that paid much less. The only thing he uses his pay for is beer and paying off credit card bills from before we met. No house bills and hardly any food. When he does buy food, it’s only food he likes. He refuses to ask for a raise or look for a better job so he can contribute, every time I bring it up I get yelled at for “stressing him out” and to drop it. Really?! Supporting a 30+ year old man isn’t stressful for me?! Instead of taking action, he moved back in with his mom.

This is the man that bought me a watch for a gift for our fourth anniversary, knowing full well I never EVER wear a watch. For my birthdays, he usually buys me two tickets to see HIS favorite band. (Oh, can we use your car?) He doesn’t like my friends, so when we go out it’s always with his friends. I feel the only reason he invites along me is so we can use my car. Because when we get to wherever we’re going, he ditches me. Thank god I love his friends. People would think I’m just sticking around for the sex, but it’s been at least three months since that ever happened. I refuse to beg for it anymore.

All of this “emotional abuse” has changed my outlook from “well, I can’t do any better”, to “I deserve better than this s#@$^”. If anyone else here happens to be in the same situation. GET OUT! Even if you don’t think you’re beautiful on the outside, there’s someone out there who thinks you’re beautiful on the inside, you just got to find them. This will be my new mantra when I’m back on the market tomorrow morning! I’m going to miss his friends. If anyone is interested how the dumping goes, I’ll come back and update!