You Should Have Told Me

Ok, here it is: I had this friend of mine, Luke, who was my best friend at all. We had met thanks to my boyfriend of a few years ago. Well, when I left him, Luke and I kept in contact, until we got very close. After a lot of time, like almost a couple of years of friendship, he comes up and tells me that he feels something for me. I admit it’s probably been a stupid move by me, but when he tried to kiss me I just kissed him back. So we started this story, we even went to holiday together, I was surprisingly fine with him. We lasted about six months or so, then I sort of got tired of the relationship, and I feared that we wouldn’t have been able to recollect our pieces and put our friendship back together as we planned to do in that case. So I preferred to leave him before to mess it up and end hating each other. We didn’t talk for a while, then we started going out and doing “friends stuff”… but in a moment we found ourselves discussing about the possibility of having a sexual relationship, which we began a few minutes later. Anyway, we kept like this for months, interrupting it for a few weeks as I had met a person who I really cared about. It lasted, sweetly and happily, I was kind of getting involved with this not only physically, and he was showing kind of the same… until today, when Luke, asking me for a friendly help with a girl he met (which is fine, i mean, he did it for me, I do it for him, we are still best friends), comes up with the story that he HAD sex with her already, they go around holding each other and kissing in public, and, moreover, two days ago they politely decided to start a “just fun” relationship. So we’re just over. We made up like three days ago, last time. YOU SH+++Y MINDED IDIOT, DON’T YOU THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME THIS BEFORE, MF?!

A Broken Heart Can Heal

I am only 17 years old. I thought I had met the love of my life of course being young a naive. When we first met, everything was so perfect to me and he was all I ever thought about. We could not go a day without seeing each other. He would go to the end of the world and back for me. He would do anything for me. 2 months later he told me that he loved me and I wasn’t ready to say that to him because I had never been “in love” before. Then we got into a fight and broke up, I was devastated and we worked it out the next day. Things slowly started going downhill and we were fighting everyday after a while. We dated for 6 months and suddenly he changed his mind about me and I found out he was telling another girl he loved her which really hurt me. We broke up and I was crying for three days straight. Three weeks had passed and I couldn’t get over him. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I had begged for him forever, when I stopped begging for him that’s when he came back to me, but after he came back I actually took him back which was the biggest mistake of my life. The very next day he told Paige he loved her and dumped me again. We decided to become friends about a week later and friends led to other things. We had been dating for two weeks or so…and here he goes again. He ran back to Paige for the third time. If you ask me I think that’s a pretty harsh way to get dumped. But i’m over it and i’m ready to move on without him.

Live and Learn

All through high school, I didn’t bother with the dating scene. I was smart enough to know that most of the guys in my high school weren’t worth my time. So when I went to college, I was naive and hopeful that I would meet someone who would sweep me off my feet. Sure enough, my second semester, I come back from break to find that a new guy has moved to my floor. He’s tall, cute, and super nice. We hung out a couple times with friends, then alone, and talked all the time online. Within a couple of weeks, I knew I was falling hard, and didn’t know enough to slow myself down.

The day before Valentine’s Day, he told me that we needed to break it off. He was a senior, graduating soon, and leaving the country for a student teaching job. I was upset, but tried to be positive. Apparently, though, he couldn’t stand to see me upset, because he changed his mind a few days later. I was ecstatic. I had convinced myself that we could make it work long-distance, and believed that I was in love. One night, we went for a walk around campus and I gave him my first kiss. I was perfectly blissful.

Then he went on a school trip for a few days, and I missed him terribly. He came back, and told me we needed to talk again. This time, he said it was off for good. I was angry, sad, and didn’t know what to do with myself. He stopped talking to me for the rest of the semester, and I was upset for losing a friend, too. Eventually, though, I started to get over it, and move on. I messaged him around the first anniversary of our relationship to get some closure, and he basically told be that I didn’t mean as much to him as he meant to me. Angry, I vowed to never talk to him again.

I can’t really be too upset about everything, though, because a good guy friend of mine helped me through the pain. He had recently been through something similar, and knew how I was feeling. We ended up healing each other’s hearts and now, almost six years later, we have been married for four years and have a beautiful daughter. I don’t think we’d be together if it weren’t for my naivety.

Looking back, I know that I was very immature about the whole thing, and he did the right thing, but it really did hurt at the time. Since I’ve  only been with him and my husband, this is my only break up story, and I’m grateful that it isn’t horrible like others I’ve read on this site. But I thought I’d share anyway.

A Change of Heart

*Christopher was never someone I had ever considered dating before. We had spoken off and on and he had been in my home school group since I was young. He invited me to his youth group one day and I went. Soon he admitted that he had feelings for me and asked me if I felt the same. I didn’t and decided to be honest and told him so. He was very disappointed but kept trying to win me despite my lack of interest. Eventually I decided to give him a chance he was cute, sweet and a little bit older than I, even if I wasn’t really “attracted” to him. Very soon he grew on me and I started to feel the same way as he did. At 3 months I noticed he seemed a bit distant. I asked him what was wrong? he admitted to feeling slightly attracted to another girl. We were going to break things off but he said he wanted to work through it, because he didn’t feel like the girl had the same beliefs and values as he. I agreed to keep trying but a few days later I ended up ending it because of how distant he was and how he didn’t seem to care at all about anything in my life. He didn’t seem to care that I broke things off. 3 weeks later we ended up getting back together again because he decided that he did loved me and told me he realized he didn’t want to be separated from me. I loved him too and was relieved to have him back. A year passed blissfully, we never fought and me and *Chris kept in constant contact. Some people even started assuming that when were done school we would get married. (which we had discussed.) He spent time at my house and I at his. We both attended family gatherings on both sides. Everything seemed completely normal but one day when he came to cheer for me at an event I had to go to he seemed overly affectionate. He seemed to need to constantly be near me and was extra touchy. He insisted on how he needed to show me how much he loved me. After the event he came and hung out at my house and I started playing with his phone. I often left little messages on his phone and this is what I intended to do. His texts were open and I scanned them. I saw some messages from a girl he (apparently disliked) from his past. Curious, I opened them and read. She had started making flirty advances and he had replied in the same manner. Devastated I read through all of them. When I finished, I put the phone back in his hand and I told *Chris he was going to  have to leave. He told me I was scaring him and asked me to tell him what was the matter. I told him I thought he knew and left the room. I sat down on the floor and cried and he came after me. He eventually realized I found the texts and dropped down to his knees, saying no no no and crying. I left for my friends house still crying and when I came home he was gone. we have talked since, he wants to get back together and can give no reason for what he did. I don’t know how to trust him even if i still love him so I have told him no even though he isn’t taking that for a final answer.

Everyone Loves a Mix Tape, Part Deux

So about two years ago I submitted the story “Everybody loves a Mix Tape” about my being dumped for another woman while my “beloved” was deployed overseas. Many of you chastised me, reminding me it wasn’t an actual relationship, etc. I, in turn, nursed my wounded heart and pride, moved away to finish my degree and tried to move on.

Now four months in to my transition I get an email out of nowhere from James. I had pretty much moved on and was doing well. In his email he confessed he had made a terrible mistake and that he realized I was the one all along. He said some sob story about how she was actually married and played him in turn. At first I was in shock to hear from him, then angry he had come back into my life. Despite my best intentions, all of my emotions just came right back and I was once again the walking wounded. I was terribly conflicted about giving this man another chance. But, as many of you pointed out, we were never actually” together.” So I sucked up my feelings and gave us another shot.

Now before you call me an idiot, I had major reservations and trust issues with it. I made him show me first he was serious before I committed. Finally, after two months, I did. James would call me every day and tell me howmuch he missed me and cared for me, etc. Then as time passed, I began to see holes in our relationship. I could never reach him on weekends and he was always too busy to come see me (he moved to a city two hours from mine).  I felt something was up.

When I finally went to see him at his home, he was incredibly uncomfortable. He had a Scentsy warmer in his front room that I thought was very odd for a bachelor, in addition to a pink coffee maker. When I asked about this he said it was from old girlfriends and the warmer was something he purchased from a friend to support her. I wasn’t allowed to check out certain rooms in the house and on his side table there was a woman’s hair tie. When confronted about this, he said he had let some friends use his home not long before and that, as for the rooms, they were off limits because of his job (he was military intelligence). I had reservations but trusted him.

The next morning he saw me off as quickly as possible, asking me to make sure I took the time to gather all of my things. Again, my instincts flared up and I secretly hid a pink Victoria’s Secret bag in his front room out of one’s normal line of sight. I drove back home and never heard from him. I assumed whoever he was dating saw the bag and things went down.

Months later he would come back into my life, trying to pick up the pieces. I still had major trust issues with him and would demand more access into his private life. He would refuse, stating it was tied up with his professional work. I was never allowed to meet his friends or be on his Facebook, and yet here he was talking about our future and marriage.

This carried on for over a year on and off until I finally had enough. He was going to be deployed again and I wanted something concrete between us. I wanted him to fully commit to me, using a label and everything, andbe listed as his gf on Facebook. He refused, saying I was being too pushy and needy. This is the same man that talked about marrying me in Vegas in one text and denying me as his girlfriend the next. When I reminded him of that, he exploded, telling me he never wanted children (something I wanted in the future) and that he never got over Amy, the girl he cheated on me with all that time ago.

I was floored and abruptly ended things for good. I changed my number and moved on, dating other people after I gave myself time to heal. He eventually came back in town, begging me for another chance, adding me to his Facebook and offering for us to meet his friends. I never accepted his Facebook nor plan to.

James continues to try for reconciliation but I’ve since blocked his number. I’ve been dating someone else for a while now and did try being friends with James despite our history. He is a great guy despite his faults but it’s obvious that we aren’t meant to be. I met his friends and tried to remain just that but he couldn’t let it be and pushed for more. Funny how things reverse.

In turn, I was “dumped” by this man repeatedly until I wised up and moved on. His behavior left me with severe trust issues, something that took a long time to overcome with my current beau (the man is a saint, I swear!). That said, I just always caution people to follow their guts. James was a master manipulator and I was just strung along by all his promises and sweet endearments. Hopefully,others will read this and take my story as a warning: if they won’t commit then run, don’t walk, away from them.l

On and Off Again

This is how my cousin was dumped and hopefully it will be a lesson to everyone why you should wait to get married and have kids…
My cousin (Penelope) had a baby literally right out of high school. Her and the baby’s father broke-up and he wasn’t in her or the baby’s life at all afterwards. Then Penelope started dating another guy (Bob), he had 2 kids from a previous relationship. She they dated for about 6 months and then he broke up with her and she found out that she was pregnant. He got back together with her and they were off and on through the entire pregnancy. Then when she was 5 months along Bob proposed, only to call off the engagement two months later. It was then 3 more months of off and on dating, and then he proposed again. Her mother (my aunt) was planning the wedding and having a horrible time because Penelope and Bob kept breaking up and getting back together. So finally after 8 month of planning, the wedding day comes. Bob calls her that morning and says that the wedding is off, he isn’t ready to commit. Everything is stopped and everyone involved in the wedding starts calling everyone on the guest list to tell them, then Bob calls again and says that he’s changed his mind and hopes that Penelope will forgive him and marry him. She says yes and we have to then call everyone back and tell them that the wedding is back on.

Fast forward one month later, they are separated. Bob said that he couldn’t live with her because she was a bitchy, controlling neat-freak. She said that he constantly spoke with the mother of his first two sons and said that he was cheating. Then it was two months of on and off again, only to finally get divorced before the four month mark. And during the divorce process, Penelope finds out that she is pregnant once again.
So much for ’till death do us part’