Positively Horrid!

SO! I met a man at a bar on new years 2013. I will refer to him as K. We started talking and realized that we had came to the bar with mutual friends. I had asked one of my girlfriends about him and she said he was “a really nice guy!” She is usually a good judge of character so I didn’t think twice. We started hanging out and spending more time together and eventually got to the point where we were having a sexual relationship. We agreed that we were only seeing each other and that we wanted a relationship. I had posted a simple “:)” on his facebook one night and then out of no where, I got a message from a girl asking if K and I were dating. I told her that we were and asked why she was wondering. She said she had been dating him too and they just hung out on Thursday, which made sense because we were supposed to hang out that day and he cancelled on me. She said they were having sex and that they met on a dating site for people who are positive for STDs. My heart sank. This guy had herpes and never told me. Needless to say, I confronted him the next day and he admitted to it. I cut off all contact with him and made an appt to get checked. Two weeks after I found out about him and that other girl, I went to the clinic and found out that I fortunately hadn’t contracted it from him, but I was pregnant with his child. I ended up losing the baby and even though he was an lying jerk, it was still very hard for me to experience. I learned a very valuable lesson.

You Should Have Told Me

Ok, here it is: I had this friend of mine, Luke, who was my best friend at all. We had met thanks to my boyfriend of a few years ago. Well, when I left him, Luke and I kept in contact, until we got very close. After a lot of time, like almost a couple of years of friendship, he comes up and tells me that he feels something for me. I admit it’s probably been a stupid move by me, but when he tried to kiss me I just kissed him back. So we started this story, we even went to holiday together, I was surprisingly fine with him. We lasted about six months or so, then I sort of got tired of the relationship, and I feared that we wouldn’t have been able to recollect our pieces and put our friendship back together as we planned to do in that case. So I preferred to leave him before to mess it up and end hating each other. We didn’t talk for a while, then we started going out and doing “friends stuff”… but in a moment we found ourselves discussing about the possibility of having a sexual relationship, which we began a few minutes later. Anyway, we kept like this for months, interrupting it for a few weeks as I had met a person who I really cared about. It lasted, sweetly and happily, I was kind of getting involved with this not only physically, and he was showing kind of the same… until today, when Luke, asking me for a friendly help with a girl he met (which is fine, i mean, he did it for me, I do it for him, we are still best friends), comes up with the story that he HAD sex with her already, they go around holding each other and kissing in public, and, moreover, two days ago they politely decided to start a “just fun” relationship. So we’re just over. We made up like three days ago, last time. YOU SH+++Y MINDED IDIOT, DON’T YOU THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME THIS BEFORE, MF?!

Love Sucks

So my best friend introduced me to her brother (not really brother, they just call each other siblings) and we both hit it off right from the start. We were together for about eight months. I swear I thought he was the one. He’s funny, charming, smart and the sex was fantastic. We are also both in the military as well. So in the military you get leave (sort of like vacation time you saved up) and I went back home to Cali and he back to Georgia and I’m missing him for two whole weeks. We come back and he’s acting distant and then finally came clean that he had a girlfriend back home and he was with her during leave. Turns out I was his military boo thing and the girl back home was his home boo. Also my best friend knew this and didn’t say sh!t to me . I was so furious and humiliated that he would play us both like that. So I cut my loss (days of crying and getting fat off of chocolate) and just remove him out of my life. He’s still with his “girlfriend ” and they are getting married. I stop talking to my so call best friend too. Yeah, I know right.

Caught in a Love Triangle

You can call me jealous, bitter, psycho, immature, whatever you want – I could give two f*@ks! I got majorly backstabbed by someone I considered to be one of my best friends and so now she’s going to get what she deserves. The b!tch literally went behind my back and swooped in on a guy that I had practically been in love with for months! My ex friend’s name is Stella and the guy’s name is Daniel.

Stella and I had been friends since high school and became roommates in our freshmen year of college. We were out with friends during homecoming and that’s when we met Daniel. I liked him from first laying eyes on him, but Stella tried to act all flirty with him too. I told her that night that I had a thing for Daniel and she just kinda laughed it off saying I was always falling for someone. Whatevs. I said I liked him and that should have been enough.

Daniel and I hung out a few times and we hooked up on occasion. I kept trying to figure out where we were going but we just stayed friends for the time being. Then like a week after Spring Break, I stopped hearing from Daniel. Stella comes home one night at like 2AM and she said that she had been with Daniel. I started questioning her and find out that they have been hanging out too for the past month and had started a relationship a few days ago. He blew me off completely for her! He just up and cut me off! I really had feelings for him and it kills me to have to see Stella’s happy @ss little skip and giggles, because she is just soooo in love!

I want to get back at her soooo bad! I have been trying to hook up with Daniel again, so that I could stab her in the back like she did me, but he’s claiming that he wants to be faithful. I’ll just have to fix that. I’m going to get what I wanted for so long!

I Was the Other Girl?

When I met Jason, he was dating Karen, and they had all sorts of trouble. She kept saying she was pregnant so he wouldn’t break up with her, they fought publicly (and loudly), and it ended with her dating someone else, but keeping Jason as the ‘other’ man and almost rubbing it in his face. and Jason was ok with it.

Well, my junior year of college, after knowing him for 4 years, he asks me out. I tell him, “no. you’re still Karen’s on the side thing, and I don’t do that shit.” so, shock, he tells her it’s over. I know he did, because she texted ME screaming about how I was in the way, and eventually just saying “good luck.”

We dated 9 months. I got him into my theatre company, and helped him find a day job. He says he wants to propose, and is saving up for a ring. I’m freakin’ over the moon. After the season, he dumps me, telling me “I just don’t feel that way about you anymore”, but telling everyone else that I was begging him to stay, that I was claiming to be pregnant. Now, I may have begged a bit (I was young), but I physically cannot have children. I even had told him so years before, and we had talked about adopting someday.M y closest friends and a few of our mutual friends knew this, and told me what was up. Wen I confronted him on why he was telling people this, he said, and I quote, “stop lying, Karen! this stuff won’t work!”

That was the day I just cut off contact. I graduated, took a year to just be single and learn about me. I go to rejoin my theatre company, and find I’ve been ‘blacklisted’ because now Jason works there, and doesn’t want to work with me. The creative director tells me “we can’t have fake pregnancies here.” That is drama that can’t be allowed.” I am so furious, I shove my ob/gyn’s card into the director’s hand, and say, “I can’t fucking GET pregnant.” and storm out. I get a call 2 months later telling me they fired Jason, and asking me to rejoin the company, but I had already found another one to work with.

Slowly, mutual friends start contacting me, saying hi, asking me how I’m doing. Several of them tell me that Jason has been talking about me. A few of them even ask about the pregnancy.

Fast forward two years, and I get a message: it’s his new girlfriend, who tracked me down through members of my former theatre company, and she’s asking if he ever confused me for Karen. and she’s really, really upset. I tell her that i think the answer is yes, and explain the break up. She says she’s been trying to get jason to get help, since he called her Karen several times while they were fighting.

I told her to get out, and left it at that. apparently, EVERY girl is Karen. as far as I know, he and karen haven’t spoken since about a year after we broke up, when they had a huge blow up at a convention we all ended up at (unintentionally). It’s been 5 years now, and I still get reminded by mutual friends about how ‘crazy’ Jason was back then. Funnily enough, no one seems to hang out with him anymore…

A Knife to the Back

During my deployment to Iraq in 2004 I had already been married for 2 years to my girlfriend of 5 years. She supported me joining the Army in 2001 after 9/11 and we had a very close relationship. Before I joined we were both bigger people and I dropped 30 lbs to join. She supported me by working out and dieting with me and lost 50 lbs! I was incredibly proud of her and she went from 170 to 125 over the next couple years. While I was at Basic Training and AIT for four months she kept busy with college, exercise, and hanging out with her new female friends.

My wife and I were always shy and introverted. We preferred to stay in with other friends and D&D and video games. When she made the move down to Fort Belvior, VA from Maine my once shy wife quickly made friends at her gym and college. However, these friends looked at me as a wet blanket. I don’t drink alcohol and my wife wanted to regularly go clubbing with them and their husbands/boyfriends. I hated being out past midnight and it went from one night a week to being Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. She was able to keep on top of school, but I couldn’t be out that much and still be up for long strenuous days at 5am the next morning. We also weren’t spending much time with it just being her and I. I would sit and maybe dance a bit with my drunk wife and be quiet while they all spoke. They had all sorts of inside jokes and talked liberally about getting wasted, high, chasing women/men… Opening my mouth would get me teased about playing D&D and my wife would just laugh and join in.

We’d argue about how much time she was spending out and it would turn into her screaming at me and crying. Hours later she would return to bed or wake me up on the couch apologetic saying we’d cut back. We never did. I’d talk to her about planning nights just for us that she would initially agree to where we would go play Magic The Gathering at a hobby shop or go to a convention. We used to love doing cosplay together at conventions and she was less and less interested in me. Usually the night before or the day of when we were supposed to go out together something would come up. Either one of her friends had a fight with their boyfriend and we would instead go to the club, she didn’t feel well and wanted to stay home and nap, and twice I caught her in a lie saying she was studying with her friends but was really at the bar with them drinking and playing pool.

Deployment was coming up for me and I was pushing her to spend more time with me before I left for the year. Just getting her to go on a one week vacation with me down to Florida was like pulling teeth. She spent the entire trip snapping at me annoyed with being away and talking to her friends on her phone. I knew we’d have to have a big talk when I came home after she asked if we could pay for her female friend to come down just a day into our trip and I refused… She didn’t talk to me for an entire day.

I deployed in the fall of 2004 and didn’t come home until mid-tour leave that April. We talked regularly at the same time almost every day which was evening for me, but around lunch for her. She was entering her final year of studies and would tell me stories about her friends and the old gang. I really missed her. In November I got a strange feeling for the first time when she mentioned a guy named Kevin who sat behind her and spent a lot of their course projects teasing her. In time she invited him to hang out with her and her friends. I hadn’t really been jealous before, but she was talking about this guy all whimsy and making comments about him being able to get any girl he wanted and being a ‘manslut’.

I made a MySpace account to communicate with Army friends and found my wife had one. It was mostly her and her friends hanging out. I sent her a friend request and then went to her friends list to invite some of them. Her best friend she spent the most time with had a profile photo of her giving a thumbs up and holding a shot as my wife was passionately kissing some other guy in the background on what looked like New Year’s Eve.

I immediately called her and asked her what the picture was. At first she said the photo couldn’t be her as she hasn’t kissed anyone but me ever. I pointed out the photo clearly showed her tattoo below her wrist. She stayed quiet for about 30 seconds and then told me that on New Year’s Eve she was drunk and when the ball dropped this Kevin guy grabbed her and kissed her against her will.

I was fuming, but then I got messages from her friends and Kevin saying that’s what happened and it wasn’t her fault. I gave her the benefit of the doubt.

Coming home in April for midtour leave things seemed normal with her and we were cuddly and loving at home. I went out with her in the couple weeks I was home and the moment we entered the club and were surrounded by her friends she wouldn’t even hold my hand. I put my arm around her and noticed Kevin staring daggers at me. On the nights I came out they were strangely quiet around me.

Aside from one night during midtour where she begged to go to ladies’ night and I relented we had a good time. It was wonderful to be home. I didn’t know it would never be like that again.

I returned to Iraq and we started rolling things up a couple months later preparing to redeploy. We had a serious IED attack on our convoy that killed a very close friend of mine just a month before returning home. I was devastated.
Talking with my wife on the phone the week of it happening I was crying each evening and just pouring my heart out as she remained quiet and listened. After a week I had poured out so many tears I had none left. I called her one night the usual time and she didn’t pick up her cell which was not typical. I tried a few more times that night to no answer. It was the same the next night. I called her parents to ask if everything was okay and all her mother would say was a cryptic, “She’ll talk to you in a couple days.”

I talked to my squad leader and they had Rear Detachment do a welfare check and confirmed she was at the house and okay. She told them she just didn’t want to talk to me at the moment. This was stunning, and I was definitely hurt I was still mourning and she wouldn’t tell me why we weren’t talking, but just 12 days before redeployment she sent me an e-mail telling me to call.

I called and she told me she was going to be brief as there was no room for discussion. She fell out of love with me a while ago. She fell in love with Kevin. She made a mistake marrying the first guy she had a serious relationship with. She said I was always a wet blanket and a kid because I still indulged in the geeky things we used to. She told me when I came home she would have my stuff out front and the house was in her name and she was taking it despite the fact I was the sole breadwinner for years paying the mortgage. She said it was to my advantage to stay legally married to her as I could collect a married housing allowance and extra pay and she could still have health insurance. She said she already moved all the money out of our joint account and into her personal savings account and was not going to split it unless I complied. I sucked back my anger and sadness and told her I wasn’t in a place to make that decision right now and I would make it when I got home. She hung up and would no longer take my calls.

I spoke to JAG and got a divorce lawyer even before leaving Iraq. I did what I could to secure the assets in my name. The divorce lawyer knew what she was doing and had me cancel the credit cards and terminate the power of attorney I gave her before she could pull credit in my name. She even got a local judge to order the savings account be frozen for 30 days so I could get home and not have that money spent.

Returning home my Platoon Sergeant drove me to our home to get my car. It was full of trash and had receipts with Kevin’s name on them showing he was driving my car. My stuff was placed in garbage bags and put at the curb with a little sign saying it wasn’t trash so the garbage man wouldn’t take it away. Everything was just tossed into the garbage bags and left in the rain.

The divorce went easier than I thought it would with the judge being very kind. I thought I would just leave with my clothes and my car, but she was ordered to give me half of the profits from the house when she sold it and to return the entire savings nest egg to me or repay me for her student loan I had been paying for a few years.

I left her in VA and decided to not go home. I decided to go to Texas where I could visit my late friend’s kids and be there for them. I knew I always wanted my own and their grandparents welcomed me being a big part of their lives. Saturday and Wednesday are the days I take them out or they hang out. They are the only part of my friend I have left and I cherish being their uncle. I used my VA loan to buy a little house and got a grant to open up a fiber optic installation company. After years of subcontracting we finally have taken on a few million dollar contracts. I spent a couple years manslutting myself, but think I have a really good girl in my life. I think I may take a long time to decide if I ever want to marry again as I was cut so deep.

The hardest aspect of the entire thing is the level of betrayal. After dropping weight and doing regular exercise I became fairly attractive and got plenty of female attention that I shrugged off. I can’t fathom why I wasn’t special enough to not do all of those things to.