He Called it Honesty

I’m going to try to keep this as short as possible. It still hurts way too much for me to want to go into great detail and some things are still a little unclear. I married Kevin 3 years ago next week. We were that couple that had been together since high school. The one that everyone thought would end up married. We waited 2 years after we had graduated to get married, so we were still fairly young, but we loved each other deeply and couldn’t see ourselves with anyone else. We had a little boy a year after we were married. While we had our fair share of issues, there was never any reason for me to think that I had a reason to feel insecure about the future of my marriage or that I should question my husband’s commitment to our marriage.

Everything went down back in March. My sister was turning 25 and she and her fiance had planned this huge weekend trip for her and a bunch of friends. There were a total of about 10 people who were all heading down to this awesome beach town 2 hours away from us. It was one of those party destinations, and I couldn’t wait. My husband and I piled in to one of the vans we rented and set out for a well-needed mini vacation. We had rented a big beach house for everyone to stay in so that we didn’t have to deal with everyone in different hotels. We got there, unpacked and wasted no time in partying. The drinks were flowing within an hour of our arrival. After a few hours, I was buzzed and incredibly tired from the long day. I asked my hubby if he wanted to go to bed, but he told me that he was staying for one more round and would meet me in our room in a few minutes. He didn’t come to bed for another 3 hours, but I didn’t mind. I gave him a kiss and went back to sleep.

The weekend was so much fun, and the first time in a very long time that I felt free to just enjoy myself without responsibilities. I was bummed to be headed home that Sunday, but excited to get home to my baby boy. My husband rode home with the guys in one van and I rode with the girls in another. As we pulled onto the freeway, things got awkwardly silent, then out of nowhere, my sister’s friend Susan turns to me and tells me that my husband had said awful things about me after I had gone to bed throughout the weekend. She told me all about how he had talked about how much he suffered on a daily basis and how miserable he was with life being being married to me. She then told me all about how he had tried to have sex with her and 2 other of my sister’s friends, and when they turned him down he asked for them to keep it ‘just between them.’

Once we got back into town, my husband and I had another 20 minute drive to our house, so I figured that I would bring it up on the way home so that he could tell me how it had been some crazy misunderstanding and we could spend the rest of the ride home laughing about it. That’s what I thought would happen, but instead once I told him everything that the girls had told me, he just responded with “Yea, it’s gotten that bad. I can’t take having to live so suffocated anymore. I’m 23 and just want to enjoy life.” Ha, he should have thought of that before the marriage and the baby! I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and I was sure that this was all some sick joke, but no, he slept in our son’s room that night and packed his bags and left the next morning. He would only say that he didn’t want to be married anymore. I fought him so hard to give me the explanation I deserved, but he just said that it was time for him to be honest and stop suffering for the sake of keeping our high school relationship together.

I have no idea where we are right now. He has filed for a divorce, but when he comes around to see our son, he is always nice and flirty with me and we have had sex a few times. What is that? I heard that he is supposed to have some new girlfriend, but I doubt it because I think that this is all some little crisis he is going through and he will realize any day that he can’t walk away from the girl he’s loved since the 10th grade.

Wait, I’m Confused

When I was a little over 16, I met Tommy in a chatroom.I was socially awkward, an only child and didn’t have many friends. He lived two hours away from me and was 19 years old. This was when MSN chat was popular and before chatrooms were flooded with ads. I added him to my MSN and Yahoo messangers and we talked everyday. Eventually I gave him my number and we began an online relationship. Almost one year of “dating”, he decided to drive to my small town so we could meet. It was fun, we had lunch and drove around the lake. We kissed, but he was pushing the next step. He and I were both virgins and I wasn’t ready. He seemed okay and before he left, gave me a bouquet of duct tape roses. ( Weird, but sweet because he made them). The next few weeks he was acting a little distant. Not responding as quickly on messanger and not calling me that much. We meet again at a theme park and again in his car he was getting more physical than I wanted and again I said I wasn’t ready. He said that was fine but wanted me to know he was going to visit a good friend in California. At the time I didn’t think anything of it (in his mind it was a consequence). Come to find out he went and visited a pre-op transexual and lost his virginity “both ways” while he was there. The girl he visited still had her man parts and sent me a picture of herself naked while Tommy was sleeping. He had me in his phone as “my love”. I didn’t say anything and I didn’t know what to do. When he got back, he acted like everything was normal. I figured he was gay and I’d let him come out in time. We never saw each other, so it didn’t matter and I didn’t want to embarrass him. This is where it really sucks. I’m not overly superficial. But I do know I am relatively attractive, 5ft 4in and 120 lbs, brown hair, green eyes and olive skin. He calls me and tells me he made a mistake and slept with his friend Marcia (who weighed like 300 lbs and wasn’t that pretty). He thinks he loves her and we should break up. He didn’t know I knew about California. I unload!
ed on him. And told him what I knew. It was crazy, my feelings were hurt and I was pretty mean. Like I said, I know we didn’t see each other often. But he could’ve dumped me first and then slept with her… I just felt like if you were going to cheat you might as well upgrade.I realize now that it didn’t matter who or what he cheated on me with, that is just who he is. It has been 7 years and he married Marcia. they have a baby on the way And he recently sent me a Facebook message asking for my # and if I wanted to meet in a hotel (hell no). I am happily engaged and with no children. I am actually glad it happened it. I had forgotten about it until he looked me up and sent me a random message. I do apologize if this sounds juvenile but these were my thoughts at the time. I do not miss being young. Hehe

Positively Horrid!

SO! I met a man at a bar on new years 2013. I will refer to him as K. We started talking and realized that we had came to the bar with mutual friends. I had asked one of my girlfriends about him and she said he was “a really nice guy!” She is usually a good judge of character so I didn’t think twice. We started hanging out and spending more time together and eventually got to the point where we were having a sexual relationship. We agreed that we were only seeing each other and that we wanted a relationship. I had posted a simple “:)” on his facebook one night and then out of no where, I got a message from a girl asking if K and I were dating. I told her that we were and asked why she was wondering. She said she had been dating him too and they just hung out on Thursday, which made sense because we were supposed to hang out that day and he cancelled on me. She said they were having sex and that they met on a dating site for people who are positive for STDs. My heart sank. This guy had herpes and never told me. Needless to say, I confronted him the next day and he admitted to it. I cut off all contact with him and made an appt to get checked. Two weeks after I found out about him and that other girl, I went to the clinic and found out that I fortunately hadn’t contracted it from him, but I was pregnant with his child. I ended up losing the baby and even though he was an lying jerk, it was still very hard for me to experience. I learned a very valuable lesson.

Too Far Gone, Too Long

I realized after the first three months that my relationship with Jack wasn’t what it should’ve been. He started hitting me I knew I should’ve left. I was 19 at the time and as dumb as can be. I am now 24 and just dumped his ass. After almost 6 years of being hit, lied to, cheated on, and used,I had finally hit my breaking point.

Mr. Jack was a crack baby and unfortunately I think it affected his speech and thought process. During this time, he had successfully broken my fingers, scarred my back and neck, and put me in the hospital for many minute injuries. He would promise me he wasn’t on drugs, but I would find pot in his pockets, and pipes. He would tell me he wasn’t speaking to other women, and yet he would have hookers from craigslist calling and texting him, he even had an offer from a MAN to get a blow job.

But I forgave most of this, trying to understand his thought process and his needs, pushing aside my own dreams and beliefs to stay with him. The final straw cam when I realized I was working a full time and a part time job, plus being a full time student, and having an externship, and my dad going into the hospital for heart issues. He picked the day after all of this to yell at me for misplacing some important documents we needed fora court procedure.

I never disagreed when he called me irresponsible and lazy. I never fought or threw the fact that he is working one job, and has his weekends off to do what he wanted. I really just wanted him to take me out occasionally and let me vent and forget about work and school for a night.

I didn’t think that was too much to ask, but after breaking plans with me and in my over-stressed mind, I snapped. I told him it was over, I threw my engagement ring at hime and told him to hook up with one of the prostitues he was so fond of. I now have the pleasure of moving my things out and hopefully avoiding any physical contact with him. The story is much deeper than this, but wish me luck anyways.

Love Sucks

So my best friend introduced me to her brother (not really brother, they just call each other siblings) and we both hit it off right from the start. We were together for about eight months. I swear I thought he was the one. He’s funny, charming, smart and the sex was fantastic. We are also both in the military as well. So in the military you get leave (sort of like vacation time you saved up) and I went back home to Cali and he back to Georgia and I’m missing him for two whole weeks. We come back and he’s acting distant and then finally came clean that he had a girlfriend back home and he was with her during leave. Turns out I was his military boo thing and the girl back home was his home boo. Also my best friend knew this and didn’t say sh!t to me . I was so furious and humiliated that he would play us both like that. So I cut my loss (days of crying and getting fat off of chocolate) and just remove him out of my life. He’s still with his “girlfriend ” and they are getting married. I stop talking to my so call best friend too. Yeah, I know right.

I Was the Other Girl?

When I met Jason, he was dating Karen, and they had all sorts of trouble. She kept saying she was pregnant so he wouldn’t break up with her, they fought publicly (and loudly), and it ended with her dating someone else, but keeping Jason as the ‘other’ man and almost rubbing it in his face. and Jason was ok with it.

Well, my junior year of college, after knowing him for 4 years, he asks me out. I tell him, “no. you’re still Karen’s on the side thing, and I don’t do that shit.” so, shock, he tells her it’s over. I know he did, because she texted ME screaming about how I was in the way, and eventually just saying “good luck.”

We dated 9 months. I got him into my theatre company, and helped him find a day job. He says he wants to propose, and is saving up for a ring. I’m freakin’ over the moon. After the season, he dumps me, telling me “I just don’t feel that way about you anymore”, but telling everyone else that I was begging him to stay, that I was claiming to be pregnant. Now, I may have begged a bit (I was young), but I physically cannot have children. I even had told him so years before, and we had talked about adopting someday.M y closest friends and a few of our mutual friends knew this, and told me what was up. Wen I confronted him on why he was telling people this, he said, and I quote, “stop lying, Karen! this stuff won’t work!”

That was the day I just cut off contact. I graduated, took a year to just be single and learn about me. I go to rejoin my theatre company, and find I’ve been ‘blacklisted’ because now Jason works there, and doesn’t want to work with me. The creative director tells me “we can’t have fake pregnancies here.” That is drama that can’t be allowed.” I am so furious, I shove my ob/gyn’s card into the director’s hand, and say, “I can’t fucking GET pregnant.” and storm out. I get a call 2 months later telling me they fired Jason, and asking me to rejoin the company, but I had already found another one to work with.

Slowly, mutual friends start contacting me, saying hi, asking me how I’m doing. Several of them tell me that Jason has been talking about me. A few of them even ask about the pregnancy.

Fast forward two years, and I get a message: it’s his new girlfriend, who tracked me down through members of my former theatre company, and she’s asking if he ever confused me for Karen. and she’s really, really upset. I tell her that i think the answer is yes, and explain the break up. She says she’s been trying to get jason to get help, since he called her Karen several times while they were fighting.

I told her to get out, and left it at that. apparently, EVERY girl is Karen. as far as I know, he and karen haven’t spoken since about a year after we broke up, when they had a huge blow up at a convention we all ended up at (unintentionally). It’s been 5 years now, and I still get reminded by mutual friends about how ‘crazy’ Jason was back then. Funnily enough, no one seems to hang out with him anymore…