Three years ago, I was happy and in love with my boyfriend of 4 years, Micah. We had met right after we graduated college, and had been living together for nearly a year. We were that couple that was practically already married, so it was no surprise when we announced our engagement. I was busy with work as a hospital unit coordinator, so I didn’t jump right into wedding planning. We both wanted a simple wedding, but didn’t want to rush anything just for the sake of getting to the altar. Micah had this core group of friends, some of them I loved and others I wasn’t too fond of. The main reason I didn’t like a few of his friends was because they were dogs. There had been several occasions when their girlfriends had called me crying over finding something on his phone or computer. There were even times when a friend of his would show up at our place late at night with some random girl. They would sleep in our guest bedroom and do God’s knows what, and I was supposed to turn a cheek to it and act like I didn’t see anything. It made me feel horrible, but I didn’t know how to tell their girlfriends without causing a bunch of trouble for everyone.
Micah and his friends went on this annual trip together. It was something they had done since college and this year they were heading just about an hour away to watch our NFL team’s training camp. They left Thursday morning and I didn’t hear from Micah until Friday afternoon. Well, I had heard from him via one text where he said “Made it. About to eat. Call you later.” That was it and he didn’t answer any of my calls. I knew he was excited about the trip, so I just gave him space to enjoy himself and didn’t bother calling. I talked to him again on Sunday, when he let me know that they were heading home Monday morning. When he got back, I asked him about the trip and he told me about everything they had done, but afterward, seemed uncomfortable and distant. He was like that for another week. Each time I asked him what was wrong, he would just say nothing. He went from distant to completely zoned out when we were together. He had all of a sudden found some game on his phone that he couldn’t pull himself from and kept going for walks or short outings by himself.
My gut told me that something was up, so when he was in the shower, I decided to take a peek at his phone but it was locked. He had never had a lock on it before, so now I was almost certain something was going on. That evening, I sat down and demanded to know what the hell was going on. He denied and denied that there was anything, then slowly he started opening up. He said that he had realized a few things on the trip and wasn’t sure he was ready to be married. Then, he admits to hanging out with some girl. After several questions, he comes out and says that they had slept together several times that weekend and had been talking ever since. I went ballistic! He had cheated on me and then carried on with talking to her right in front of me. We started arguing back and forth, and next thing I know he says that he can’t help that he’s fallen in love with the girl. That something clicked when they met each other and he just felt right with her. He said that he could see himself with her, ya know if it wasn’t for that small detail of him being engaged to someone else! I was sick. It was like some sick joke. I had never in my life been so tempted to want to hurt someone than I was at that moment. I hated him, and the worst part was that he didn’t see why I was as upset as I was. He told me that I should be glad that he was honest, that he he didn’t carry on with seeing her behind my back. Thanks for considering my feelings a$$hole! Micah told me that he wasn’t sure about his feelings and asked that I give him the chance to feel both relationships out before deciding where he belonged. Ha! Yea, no problem, go cheat on me with some girl you fell in love with two weeks ago, I’ll be right here waiting for you – NOT!