I dated Harry for over three years and I thought he was the one. We took things slow at first and really got to know each other. He became so much more than a boyfriend. he was my best friend, someone who meant the world to me. Harry and I loved to travel, and with us both having jobs in web and graphic design, we mostly telecommuted, so we could work from anywhere. There were so many times where I just sat back and smiled, in disbelief that this was really my life. One instance was when we were sitting on the back porch of a Hawaiian beach house we had rented for the week, and another was at around 1 AM one night in a Las Vegas hotel suite. I just couldn’t believe that I was making great money working for myself, could travel whenever I wanted, and had the love of my life right there with me. Things just got better from there and we eventually moved in together.
Harry and I ended up working on a big project together that took several months and kept us busy. We didn’t have as much free time as we did before, and Harry was on the go and in and out of town working on his other projects. He dropped a few hints here and there that he might be proposing soon, and I was so excited about it. Harry was terrible at keeping secrets and could never execute a surprise without letting at least one detail slip.
One evening, I was on the telephone with the client from the project Harry and I worked on together. He had a few questions for Harry and asked that I forward some files to him. I ran into our office and got on Harry’s computer to send the email. There was already a message open and all it said was “Now, does this look like I miss you or what?! xoxo.” Below was a pic of some girl in her underwear, looking totally desperate. I checked and rechecked to make sure that I was really in Harry’s email account. I then had to sit there in shock as I read through their disgusting messages, all while maintaining my composure for the client on the phone. It turned out that Harry was actually good at keeping secrets and scheming, even going so far as to send her emails that said “EMAIL ONLY. We are working in the office today.” That would have been around the time when we were busiest with the project we were working on together, and we would spend long days working in our home office. Everything I knew of this amazing man had been a lie. He had been carrying on another relationship for at least 6-7 months. Had it been longer? Had there been others? I confronted Harry the second he got home. At first he was angry that I had been in his email account, then he started with the excuses. He finally settled on it being his friend that had been using his email (which made absolutely no sense). He refused to talk about it beyond that, sticking to it being a friend of his who had sent the messages, but refusing to actually name the friend. He tried reversing the situation back on me, saying that it was a huge problem that I couldn’t trust him and that he couldn’t be with someone like that. His efforts to divert the attention away from the fact that he had been sleazing around for a good chuck of our time together were pathetic. I wasn’t stupid and I wasn’t going to be made out to be a fool. I told him to call whoever his friend was who was using his email to hook up with women, and tell him that he was responsible for us breaking up. I left that night, leaving my dream behind and heading back into the real world.