I have always been really family-oriented, so I thought it was great when I started dating Bradley. He was big on family as well, and seemed like he was the perfect guy for me. He had grown up in a smaller family. It was him, his younger sister Abby, and their parents. Growing up, they did the annual family vacations, had family nights each week, and were all very close. As the kids had gotten older, their relationships with their parents had turned more into friendships, and that was the coolest thing I had ever heard. I fell right into place with the family and was so genuinely happy.
Unfortunately, somewhere between her kids’ early and mid-twenties, Bradley’s mom had lost touch with a sense of healthy relationships, and felt like she needed to always be included in everything, and I mean everything. My first taste of her crazy came about 4 months into my relationship with Brad. I had a small gathering at my place to celebrate my best friend’s birthday. She was turning 24, so we kept things pretty quiet; just friends, drinks, food and games. When Brad’s mom found out that I had hosted a party without inviting her, she cried to Bradley for over an hour and then wrote my friend a facebook message, introducing herself and inviting the girl out for drinks to celebrate her birthday. My friend was freaked out but kept things as polite as possible for my sake. Incidents like this continued to happen for the next year, with her reactions getting crazier each time. I also noticed that she became distant and would always seem sad whenever I was included in their plans. During one dinner, she actually walked out and texted Bradley that she felt ignored and unloved. She asked for him to meet her a few blocks away because she needed to talk, and then threw a fit when he said no. Brad’s dad had to leave early to take her home. Eventually, she stopped being indirect about the situation and started making it very clear that I was the problem. She would be sure to talk about how close they all were before me, and say how they weren’t now but that she was ok with it because she would always be his first love. I just bit my lip and smiled each time. I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of knowing that she was bothering me.
The last straw came soon after New Year’s. Brad’s friend decided to plan a couple’s weekend, which actually was a part of Brad’s elaborate plan to ask me to marry him. It was supposed to be 2 days full of friends and the things I loved most, topped off with Brad proposing. It ended up going nothing like that. Brad told his mom about the plan, and instead of being excited for us, she goes nuts and posts a rant, with pictures and details of his plans on her facebook. So I ended up finding out about the entire thing days beforehand, and I got to read all about how I had forced Brad to plan this elaborate proposal and work his ass off to buy me nice things. She said every terrible thing about me that you could imagine. Then she finished it by saying that he was too good for me and that he deserved the love and care he got from her, not to settle with what he was getting from me. Bradley ended up in a huge fight with his mom, which caused tension between us and led to us slowing down. We are still together, but he feels like we need to sort out these issues before we take the next step. I just hope that things change soon before I go as crazy as her.