When my boyfriend and I first got together, he let me know that he was coming out of a rough break-up, and that his ex had recently found out that she was pregnant and he was the father. I was a little apprehensive because the last thing I wanted to get involved in was some “baby mama drama” between him and his ex-girlfriend. I was honest with him and told him that at this point in my life I wasn’t ready to settle down into the married life, or have kids, or anything like that. I could commit, but I didn’t want things to be really serious right away. Somehow. the exact opposite occurred. It was like we had fallen in love instantly and within 3 months we were living together.
It had taken a lot of work, but he had eventually come to an understanding with his ex about the baby and how he wanted to be there. They both agreed that they wanted to be the best parents that they could be for the child. She even sat and talked with me about the roles that I might be playing. All I kept thinking was “ummm, no thank you!” I mean, getting serious in the relationship was one thing but there was no way in hell I was ready for kids in my life. I came to the decision that I would be supportive of my boyfriend but that I did not want to play mommy to any kid.
A few months after the baby was born, the ex started dropping the baby off to spend time with his father, and from day one my boyfriend tried to involve me in it. He constantly asked me to hold the baby, feed the baby, and do a bunch of other stuff that I just hated. It was so awkward, and every time the kid cried, it was just another reminder of what I didn’t want. Once the baby started spending the night and eventually entire weekends with us, I started reaching a breaking point. I hated being there. I figured that I could talk to my boyfriend about things since we were so open with each other. I told him that I thought it would be a better idea if we limited the baby’s visits to once each month or something like that, and that I would leave while he was there. He became so enraged and started attacking me, saying that I was selfish and insensitive. He said that his son had come before me and that he always would. I couldn’t believe he would say that to someone he was supposed to love so deeply. It was like he didn’t even care about my feelings, just about his other situation. He continued to say all sorts of things about me and then said that he wanted to call it quits, because he would never be with someone who even thought about keeping his son away from him. He said that he would rather be single than to not see his son every week. I was just so mad, so I told him that he was throwing our relationship away and really needed to think about what he was doing. He shot back by saying that there was no thinking when it came to his child and that he wanted me gone. I hope him and his baby, and their happy little messed up family are happy together!