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Young and Naive?
This happened a few years ago, so details may be vague.
I first met my bf in high school, I will call him J. As any typical relationship that 16 year olds have, I thought he was “the one” and we spent almost every waking moment together and if we weren’t together we were texting. We lasted all through high school on cloud 9. However in 2008 circumstances changed, his mum moved to another city – he would have gone with her but he didn’t want to leave me. He temporarily moved into my house I lived in with my parents until we could find our own place. By June/ July of that year he had been accepted into the police academy and needed to move to the city, to attend academy. I decided to stay in our home town for a few months so save up money and so he had some time to find our own place (he was staying with his mum). By the time October rolled on I had enough funds and had planned my big move to be with him. A few days before I was due to leave he calls me and says he wants to break up, no explanation or anything. I said if that’s what you want then fine, but I am coming up so you can tell me to my face. I get there and it was no longer mentioned, he took me out to dates and treated me so well. A year into living in the city, things between us were odd, he had a new group of police friends and would always go out and party but I was never allowed to go, as it was a “boys” night, I was ok with this until one of the friends mentioned in passing that it was a shame I couldn’t come out and hang with all the girls. I was like wtf? I kept questioning him but would only receive vague answers and I started to get paranoid. I decided to go through his fb and texts and found conversations between many many girls. I am not proud of snooping through his things, but it was like I was possessed. Anyway we had a huge argument and it pretty much ended, I found him talking secretly to someone on the phone and when I questioned it he said it was a girl he is seeing, and they were waiting for us to break up before they became official. I was heart broken. Even after all this crap I still (stupidly) thought he was my “one”. I promptly left and never spoke to him again, I did find out the girl he left me for ended up leaving him soon after they became official. In hindsight I probably should have left when he first said he wanted to break up, but being young and naive, I thought I could change his mind. I am not blaming him entirely for what happened, as it takes two to make/break a relationship, but I never got a final talk with him to give me closure and to find out what I did wrong. I am with someone else now, but it took a heck of a long time to trust him. But I am much happier now and I hope the ex has found happiness in his life too.
367 Comments to Young and Naive?
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Did you learn for your mistakes? If so I say fine. You dont seem like a complete moron or an awful person, so yeah, lets chalk it up to being young and naive.
Meh… You were young and in loveeeeee. Sounds like you did learn a lesson. It sucks that you had to learn it the hard way but it makes us all stronger when we do.
I’m glad you’re happy now but you’re still young so don’t get too caught up. Be young. Have fun!
What happened is that he wanted freedom, not to be tied into a serious relationship so young. It’s not that you did something “wrong”, per se… some relationships are just too much/too young or they are simply not meant to be.
Don’t get deluded by this false need for “closure”. All you needed to know, you *already* know. That is, this guy simply wasn’t the right one for you. I hate that over-used term **closure** anyway. Life doesn’t come with neatly typed chapter-markings nor with a “The End” written in fancy Shakespearean script.
Great, just great. Another relationship that could have been saved if you simply would have worked on your Mouth-hugging skills. I am beginning to feel like I am ranting at a wall. Do any of you women listen? Any? Now get to work on it!
Happy Bday Tunes.
On an unrelated note – I need to ask psychological advice. I know… fucked up group of people to ask, but we all walk and quack like the same group of ducks….so here goes:
I think someone is breaking into my office at night and peeing in my fridge. It’s a little fridge and I’ll clean it out all pretty and squeaky clean then a few days or a weeks later there is a yellow mess at the bottom of it.
I don’t go in my fridge often. Someone had been breaking in and stealing my soda so I stopped bringing it in but I opened it because I would get a whiff of something moldy or yucky and there would be this yellow, nasty crap at the bottom of the fridge.
Do any of you know if men mark things like this? It’s kinda freaking me out.
I say set up a laptop with a little webcam and you’ll know for sure.
James – I can’t on a military installation. I could get fired. Great idea though!
Brattus,
I have heard of people doing similar things. Like peeing on chairs and other personal items. Although most of the perpetrators in the news were women it could be anyone. Unless you have issues like the power going out and melting the ice around the little freezer section I would definitely say that you are being targeted. If you go to Bass Pro Shop you could get a cheap motion activated camera and “see” who is doing it.
I agree with James… webcam that. There was another case not long ago, some office where a guy was going around peeing on female co-workers’ chairs, and he got caught when once of the women got tired of coming into work and finding a mysterious wetness and smell on her chair.
Have you spoken to anyone about your suspicions?
I have only told one of my friends my suspicions. The way this place works is odd. I won’t think they would take it seriously.
Hell, REAL in your face bad things have happened here and they have swept in under the rug.
One of these days you guys will see my command on CNN for someone going postal. You won’t know it was my command of course, but it’s crazy here.
I can’t record anything. So sadly that idea is out. It’s a great idea. Thank you to all. I was just wondering if it was a guy thing (albeit a crazy thing) to do that kind of shit. At least then I know what I’m up against.
Man Brattus, I hate to rain on your fridge parade. I have seen this liquid before too, and while I am not 100% sure where it comes from, I am certain it is not pee. That yellowish liquid looks more like funky water and I think it is from some type of condensation. The reason I say it isn’t pee, is that they smell would be undeniable. Like you said, that stuff sort of smells moldy or maybe like funky fruit (my thought when I have smelled it). If pee were trapped in one of those minifridges, that smell would be undeniable–like James when he first started dating his wife and would cover himself in that Axe body spray.
Mookie – Please don’t hate to say that. I’ll be HAPPY AS FUCK if that’s the case! I have never smelled refrigerated pee before so now I want to believe you! That will be what do believe. I need to sleep at night.
Is it possible to lock your mini-fridge Brattus? If the yellow liquid still shows up after it is locked, then you have your answer.
Brattus, I worked as a lab tech for a urinalysis company, and have therefore had experience with refrigerated urine. It does not begin to smell until it reaches room temperature, at which point it smells exactly like…urine.
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