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You’d think that a man who pursues a woman for 8 years and went through a ton of trouble to propose on the most spectacular way would have stayed committed to those vows. Unfortunately for me, my ex-husband seemed to take the first out he could get. I’ll be the first to admit that I wasn’t always pleasant to be around, but I don’t think I deserved any of the treatment that I received toward the end of our marriage.
I work in design. It is a stressful position, filled with long hours in the office, working at home and meeting deadlines. My husband and I had been dating for 7 years. He spent the entire year before we were together finishing up med school and building a really close friendship with me. We were friends first, and I loved that about our relationship. He went all out during the holidays of our eighth year together and hired the mall Santa to be a part of his proposal. He acted like he wanted me to take his nephews to see Santa, so we went one afternoon at his suggestion. There was an old guy taking pictures and giving out little gifts. After the boys had taken their picture with Santa, the photographer asked me to take one for fun. He said to open my gift and look surprised. You can imagine my face when I opened the box to a sparkling ring. Then Santa pulled off his beard and it was my boyfriend asking me to marry him!
We were married the following year and things seemed to be going well. One day while at work, I had a bad anxiety attack and ended up in the hospital. I was diagnosed with anxiety and fatigue and told to take some time off work. Things just seemed to get worse from there. I couldn’t get through my day without being on edge or just feeling down. I was diagnosed with severe depression and started taking medication, but the damage had been done. My husband had started taking on extra shifts and claiming that he had to do entire weekends working in the hospital. I knew to expect that sort of thing with him being a doctor, but I was barely seeing my husband and most of the time my calls and texts went unanswered. When he did come home, he was short with me and acted like he just didn’t want to be there, then his phone would ring and one of his friends would ask him to go out to the bar, and he would hop right up like his old self and take off. I reached a point where I just couldn’t take it any more. I knew when his lunchtime was, so I went up to the hospital so we could just sit and talk. I asked the receptionist to page him but she told me that he wasn’t in that day. In fact, there had been quite a few days that he claimed he was working when he wasn’t even on duty.
I confronted him later that night. He lied and denied at first, then finally came out with the fact that he wasn’t satisfied in our marriage and had instead been partying with friends and dating some young nurse on the side. He blamed my issues on the breakdown of the marriage. Yes, my bought of depression and anxiety that lasted a few weeks was the reson behind my husband lying, cheating and leaving me. Thanks, you really stuck those rough times out!
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