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A New Kind of Experience
I will try to keep this short and to the point. I had a high school sweetheart, who was my world. We had heard fro everyone we knew about how high school relationships don’t last but we just stuck with the idea that that didn’t pertain to us and that we would always be together. We were that couple in high school that you always saw together, it was like we were one! Every memory, and nearly every picture, I have from high school involves him.
After we graduated, he and I both went to the university one city over. My mother actually owned a condo in the city and offered to let me and him stay there while we were in school. You can only imagine how awesome it was to go straight from high school into living with your boyfriend alone. Things changed after we moved in together though. It was like he didn’t want to be around me as much. When he was leaving to go hang out with the guys and I asked to come along, he would say it was just a “guys” afternoon or something. I couldn’t understand how he didn’t want to spend a lot of time with me anymore. Things only seemed to get worse, and then one day he comes home and says that he is thinking about moving into an apartment with two of his friends. They all went to the same school we did. I was shocked and really upset that he would want to just up and leave me. He said that it had nothing to do with me, but that he just wanted to go and strike out on his own a bit.
He moved out the following month and I was pissed that he was actually going through with it. I told him that he better think long and hard about what he was doing because he was making the choice to leave me alone in an awesome condo, where I could have ANYONE I wanted over. He didn’t even seem moved by my warnings and left with a smile on his face. Whatever, I guess we could work through his little phase. I went over there the first night to help get him moved in and settled. He and his roommates decided to go see a movie, so I asked to go along since I was there. He just outright refused and said it was a rommies night. I thought he was being such an ass, but I just went home. I called him two hours later, but no answer. I called him over and over again, but still no answer. I finally stopped calling around 3AM. I finally got a call back from him the next morning at 11. All he said was “why the hell are you calling me like this? Couldn’t you tell I was purposefully ignoring your calls and texts?! I can’t do this anymore. You are way too much for me. We’re finished!” I broke down on the phone and begged him to change his mind. When he just hung up in my face, I got in my car and drove over to his place, since face to face can help change his mind. But he didn’t even want to talk to me. He had the nerve to have his roommate hand me a box of my stuff and relay the message that my boyfriend just wanted to cut ties completely. I have been calling him and sending him fb messages since he dumped me last month, so I’ll see what happens…..
47 Comments to A New Kind of Experience
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Sigh…
You’re being a desperate child. The only thing you are gonna get from him if you keep this up is a restraining order.
Have you tried cutting his tires or boiling his rabbit’s head? I hear those both work well-he’ll come running back! Psycho hose beast.
Stop being a crazy bitch and let it go. He wants to try new things instead of play house with you.
Holla!
He might have been a bit of an ass in the way he dumped you, but OP, you’re kind of super clingy, overly attached girlfriend turned psycho ex. I don’t know what you thought you’d get by telling us, because we’re not a sympathetic crowd for this kind of thing. Read your story and ask yourself if you don’t sound fifty shades of batshit crazy.
Clingy much? Listen sweety. You can’t argue your way out of dumped. Let it go.
Has anyone else noticed that stories that begin with “I’ll try to keep this short” almost invariably turn into long, rambling, crazy diatribes? Or is that something only I am seeing?
OP, this is another case of too much/ too soon/ too young. Shacking up together requires a level of commitment that this boy was not ready for by any means. Jesus, you two are 18, maybe 19 years old!
And seriously, what kind of fucked up mom hands over condo keys and her blessings for her teenaged daughter to play house with her teenaged boyfriend. Is your mom THAT anxious to become Grandma??
GAHHHHHH!!!!! There is so much Psycho going on here, no wonder the boyfriend ditched out!
Leave the guy alone, and carry… the fuck… ON!
Eat some ice-cream, watch some sad and cheesy movies, and blubber for a few nights. THEN, invite some girlfriends over and have a make-over session followed by “girls’ night out.” Get laid by someone new.
Yes, twisty, I agree with everything you said. Hence my sigh at the craziness here. I don’t know about you guys, but I often wonder if I was ever this nauseating or stupid in high school. I’d like to think I wasn’t, but it was a long time ago in a land far, far away. Or maybe I still am and everyone around me is too nice to tell me.
Twisty, it sounds like OP didn’t have any other friends beyond her boyfriend.
I know it’s going to hurt for awhile but now you have all your nights and weekends free to go and find out who you are. Take some time to grieve but then get out there and meet girls. Meet girls who also got dumped who you can seek healing with and meet girls who are independent and strong who can kind of mentor you out of this funk. All the movies and restaurants you would have gone to with your old boyfriend, go with them. Live laugh and enjoy life. Then when that way of independent life without needing to cling to a man takes hold, feel free to meet a boy and enjoy being with him… But limit him to twice a week maybe 3 and continue with your friends and hobbies and living on your own. Make the most of your college experience. Study something that fascinates you. Find a passion. Build a career. Your future can include marriage and babies but it should have a healthy balance where you have a career and hobbies and girlfriends and doesn’t center around a man.
I don’t know why, but I feel like being the voice of reason today. OP, you need to calm the fuck down. Why on earth would you want to be with a douche like this? Are you happy being this way, having to constantly agonize over if he will call you back, wonder where he is, and feeling depressed because you are ignored all the time? Is that really what you want in a relationship?
Trust me, it is not worth loving someone who will not love you back. I was in a relationship like yours once, where I had to do ALL the work. 3 years of my life was wasted. Do you have any idea what it is like to tell someone that you love them, and have them simply look away and never tell you how they feel? If you got back together with this boy, you have a lifetime of unrequited love to look forward to with a man who will most likely cheat on you, or ditch you during your pregnancy to go hang out with his bros. Yeah, your behavior pushed him away, but to be honest, he doesn’t sound like that much of a prize.
Let the fucker go, and don’t ever look back. Enjoy the fact that you are now single and can do whatever the hell you want in a rent free, very nice condo. Get a nice education, practice your mouth hugs, and for the love of god, work on not being so goddamn needy and clingy.
I dont know what he has to do to get you to go away… perhaps move in with your mom?
What the ever loving fuck?
It’s bad enough that you didn’t take the hint that was stapled to your forehead but you helped him move into his new place?
You are making it hard to find a reason to take your side here.
Be young. Have fun. Go to school. Have MANY boyfriends. Let this one go. He doesn’t want you. If you keep it up you will be served with a restraining order. You are already treading in stalker water.
I don’t know how much plainer I can say it.
Or here’s a new concept… give him a chance to miss you. Don’t call, don’t text, don’t FB message him.
Go do things and make NEW friends to occupy your time. Dare to be happy.
IF ( and I only say “if”) he gets to the point where he misses you, by then I bet you’ll have discovered you don’t miss him at all.
You are young, you are free, and you have an awesome condo (whereas most college kids are living in nasty run-down apartments or on-campus, getting by on Ramen Noodles)…
Yeah, I’m starting to see why he dumped you. No sympathy here.
Even though I’m a female, OP, I’ll happily put up with your clinginess in exchange for living in a condo free of charge whilst I go to school. Hit me up, girl.
Anyway, I haven’t commented in a long time, but I really needed to say something to this one: never invite yourself along or ask to go with your partner when they hang out with their friends. I know a lot of people have this odd “but we’re SOULMATES he should want to spend every second with MEEEE ME ME ME ME!!!” idea, but it’s one of the worst things you can do for a relationship. It’s so important to have friends that you can talk to about anything and both you and your partner need to have time to spend with only friends. Granted, if they are constantly ignoring you and going out of their way to ditch you, that’s a pretty big hint right there, but friend nights are very important and significant others shouldn’t always try to shove themselves into it.
So, OP, leave this guy alone and take to heart what I said. Get your own friends, get a new boyfriend, and let him have a boys’ night. If you really feel like he’s abandoning you at that point, either have a girls’ night or get out of that relationship because you’re too emotionally immature to have this kind of commitment.
You will love me. DO YOU HEAR ME! YOU WILL LOVE ME! IF YOU DON’T I WILL SHOW UP AND MAKE YOU LOVE ME AGAIN! This is your plan?
Seriously, this dude gave up a free condo just to get away from you so you must have been one clingy ass bitch. Learn from it. I do not care for your kind in the least, by the way. You acted as though whatever his actions were that they were of little consequence and that he would eventually see things your way. Guess what coont, YOU WERE WRONG. SO get off you freakin arrogant pedastal and realize that relationships take work and that people are of equal value–you treated him like you knew better than he and you would live happily ever after if he simply did what you wanted. I could go on for days, sorry for the rant this coont reminds me of my ex-wife.
The the heck is with these clingy girls? I just don’t get it. I mean sure, when I was in high school I was crazy enough to think my life was pretty much ending when someone dumped me…but I wasn’t STUPID enough to think calling and calling and harassing them would bring them back. She says, “What? I thought everyone was just dying to be chained for life to a stalker!”
You get BACK HERE, Mister! I AM NOT DONE LOVING YOU !!! You hear me??? I AM NOT DONE LOVING YOU, so you need to get your ass back here RIGHT NOW!
Dang, that is a sad and pathetic story, especially the part where you are still chasing and whining after him. Regain some small shreds of self respect and dignity and give up. He doesn’t even like you anymore. And those people were right… high school relationships seldom last.
In a while, you are going to WRITHE with embarassment over this breakup story. Next time have more dignity.
Or maybe not, maybe ‘the internet’ can see into the future because the the human user verification words I have to enter are “history repeats itself” HAHAHAHA
I think it’s great your mommy could help you out by letting you live in her “awesome” condo. I get the feeling from your post that mommy and/or daddy seldom denied you anything you requested. Now someone is telling you no. Get over it. You are not special. In all honesty, this guy did the honorable thing. Your mommy was paying the bills. he didn’t want to be with you anymore, so he moved out.
Ahh, independence, the feeling that one must get out and do things by themselves before they shack up with someone, or profess to want to spend the rest of their lives with someone else, and etc. At least he had an inkling of what it is people should do at such a young age, even though he moved in with you into the condo in the first place.
Take notice youngsters, to be able to live with someone else you must first know yourself, the only way you can accomplish that is to “be by yourself independently as an adult” Which seems to be a trend that no one accomplishes hence all these stupid ass I met the love of my life when I was 16 bullshit stories that seem to take up all of our time reading them.
Stop the madness, Get a job when you finish high school and or college, live on your own, then go find a member of the same/opposite sex to spend your life with (depending on your preference).
I know it’s kind of a roundabout way of saying it but grow the fuck up people for Christ’s sake.
The best way to get over somebody is to get on top of somebody… Or under, your choice.
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