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His Mommy Didn’t Like Me
So looking back on this now, I just laugh, but it was around this time last year, that it happened so I figured I would share it. I started dating my now ex-boyfriend Peter at the end of high school. He seemed like a decent guy, we had a lot of fun together and he seemed to genuinely care about me a lot. When I first met his parents they seemed like ok people, but it was obvious they were the kind of people who thought they were just a little better than everyone else. His mother was also very immature, the way she talked behind her friends backs and lied, you would think she was a little girl in middle school still. Peter wasn’t like that though, so I just did my best to ignore it.
Peter is an only child and his mom has always kinda babied him, she always needed to be the center of attention with him and she always had to know everything about his life. I got pretty close with his family and spent a lot of time with them and their friends. His mom was pretty nice to me at first but it seemed the longer Peter and I were together, the meaner she got. After about 8 months his mom started complaining that he spent too much time with me and that he didn’t tell her everything anymore. She then started asking me questions about her son and our relationship, she would ask me to tell her everything he did when we would go out a night, she asked me for his bank card pin number and even asked me to distract him so she could go into his room and search through his drawers and garbage. After we celebrated our 1 year anniversary, Peter’s mom didn’t even try to be nice to me anymore. She would be rude right to my face, she told Peter lies about me and then would tell me lies about Peter, she talked crap about me to the rest of their family and friends and then tried to lie and pretend like she didn’t. I didn’t want to cause problems or be rude so I tried not to argue with her and did my best to just ignore her. The thing that finally set me off was, Peter’s parents and him go on vacation about 5 or 6 times a year to Jamaica, as they have some close family and friends there. Peter had always talked about bringing me there but it never happened, I would always stay back and watch their dogs for them while they were gone. One of the times they were away, Peter’s mom texted him, knowing I had his phone saying “I can’t wait until you find a nice girl you can bring down here with you”. This started problems between Peter and I because I felt like he never stood up for me, he would just ignore her or let her talk but he never asked her to stop or corrected her or got mad at her. Our relationship started to get worse and worse and we found ourselves fighting constantly, generally with his mother being the cause of our fights.
We ended up staying together for another 2 and a half years. One night he was over and we decided to sit down and talk about our relationship and all our problems. We talked almost all night and we both agreed we had things we needed and could work on and that we needed to stop letting his mother cause all these problems for us. When he was leaving he kissed me goodbye, said he loved me and would talk to me the next day. I didn’t hear from him for 3 days and on the fourth day he texted me saying he would always love me but he just couldn’t see us being together, he couldn’t handle the stress anymore and basically blamed all our problems on me. Right afterwards he blocked my number so I couldn’t even respond. I got that text the second week of January.
The first week of February I found out Peter had started talking to a girl online the day after we broke up and he was leaving in a few days to fly down to the states (I’m in Canada), meet this girl for the first time, and then fly her to Jamaica for Valentine’s day. How did I find out? His mother “accidentally” forwarded me the hotel and travel confirmation emails.
34 Comments to His Mommy Didn’t Like Me
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Wow. That woman is such a bitch. I feel bad for the kid’s future wife. You are better out of that situation.
Im a long time reader of this site, but this is my first comment. Although it sucks, be VERY thankful that y’all broke up. My husband and I had a similar problem and although we have been together now for 10 years, if I had it to do over again, id have ran the othet way. My mother in law is awful and i am still in constant battle with her. He is just now beginning to stand up for me and the only reason is because im pregnant with our first child and have had some serious complications due to stress. If she was that horrid while dating, it would intensify with marriage. My mother in law despises me because she blames me for taking her baby away. Im a very independent, private person and thats the way our relationship has been so she feels “left out” I guess… News flash, hes 28 and doesnt need mommy to hold his hand anymore!
Anyways, be glad the drama is over. Find someone who loves you enough to protect you, even if the harmful party is mommy. I feel for his future wife and children because itll be a constant power struggle.
Proof that when you marry someone, you marry their family as well, and love does not conquer all. Personally, if she sent the e-mail of the hotel confirmation, I would have replied back with an old picture of me mouth-hugging her son.
Wow, and I thought my boyfriends mom was awful. She’s still a bitch, but nothing compared to this. Things would have continued to get more and more complicated, OP, and don’t think for a second that his mom isn’t going to treat the new girl in the same way eventually. She’s just fortunate to live in a different country and won’t be able to spend as much time with Peter as you were, but the mother will ruin that relationship too. It’s unfortunate, but the only way Peter will ever break free of his mother is if he does it himself.
I’m glad you are out of that situation and can even laugh about it now, but I fail to understand why you put up with that spineless dweeb and his psycho overly-attached mom for so long.
The mother acts that way *because* she’s been allowed to get away with it for many years. I bet if you were to talk to any girl he dated previous to you, they would have their own crop of psycho-mama stories. And I am more than willing to bet that she treated the new girl the same way.
Please do yourself a favor… if at any time in the future you date another wimp with an overbearing crazy mother, call the bitch out on her shit. Be utterly rude about it, because you should dump any guy who allows his mother to mistreat you.
My fiance’s mother is nuts, but he doesn’t put up with her crap.
I’m on day number five of a migraine so I’m going to be short and not so sweet about this.
Like twisty said – if you ever are in this situation with a MIL (or anyone for that matter) again call them out on their shit. chances are they have been allowed to get away with their shit for way too long and are used to nice people keeping their mouth shut. If you come at them the way they come at you, chances are they will back down. If they don’t, think of all the fun you can have telling them to STFU.
I don’t put up with my own mother’s crazy shit even when she does things for me (like help out with my kid) so I certainly wouldn’t put up with someone else’s. Letting people treat you like crap gives them the impression that you deserve it.
Brattus – feel better soon!
I am just curious about something, how do you know he sent that last text message and blocked your number? It could have been that psycho c*nt of a mother who did it…. I know this whole thing sucks, but just be grateful you are out of that situation and don’t have to deal with that woman anymore.
Don’t worry, she’ll start the same game on the new girlfriend.
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