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I will try to keep this short but I have been know to ramble so I will apologize in advance.
In September 2011, when I was the tender age of 21, I broke up with my high school sweetheart. We had been together 4 years and although I knew then it wasn’t love, it still hurt.
Determined to not wallow in self pity under a storm cloud of ‘whys’ and ‘what if’s', I readily accepted invitations to get togethers in an attempt to meet new people and put him from my mind. It was at one of these get togethers that I met Brad. He was a seemingly nice guy with a great sense of humor but given he was 9 years my senior, I had no intention of pursuing anything more than friendship with him.
After that night he found me on Facebook and we continued to get to know each other. Then in April 2012, 6 months after we met, he asked me out on a date. Now by this point I was well over my break up but he was much older than me and I felt terribly young and inexperienced in comparison so I was hesitant. I voiced my concerns about our age difference and my lack of experience but he promised that we would take it as slow as I wanted, so I agreed to the date.
The first date was great if a bit awkward and since he didn’t pressure me to do anything I didn’t want to do, I soon found myself going on a second, third and fourth date with him. All of them ended the same way; he’d walk me back to my car, we’d share a brief hug and I’d drive home.
Then the fifth date came to an end with the added difference of me giving him a soft kiss. That’s when he changed. He was suddenly crushing me against the side of my car, his hands were roaming all over my body and when I tried to push him away he pinned my arms behind me so I couldn’t move. I was terrified.
I couldn’t believe what was happening and for several minutes I completely mentally shut down in an attempt to grasp what was going on. Then I felt it. He had his hand in my pants and was being none too gentle. I snuck a peak down at myself and found he’d torn my top completely open and my bra was pushed up over my breasts. It suddenly registered that this man that I thought was so sweet and kind, intended to rape me. How could I have be so wrong about him?
All at once I gathered my scattered emotions and pulled myself together. I had to get free before he got any further. So with a combination of pure adrenaline and fear, I reared my head back and headbutted him in the face as hard as I could before shoving his chest while he stumbled backwards.
Luckily I had unlocked my car and thrown my keys on the seat before he had made his move. It meant I was in the car and hauling ass before he even managed to get himself up off the floor.
The whole ride home I could hear my cell beeping and ringing with various texts and phone calls but I ignored them and just kept driving. But when I got home and checked my phone I had several messages from him asking what my problem was and why I had suddenly “put a stop to our fun”. It seemed that, in his messed up mind, I had been ok with what was happening.
I was soon being inundated with messages from mutual friends asking why I had flipped out on Brad mid way through sex. He was telling them that I initiated sex then flipped out and hit him when I changed my mind. I felt so embarrassed.
Then I get a message that was both upsetting and freeing. It was from Brad.
“Samantha, I don’t think we should see each other anymore. If you are still so hung up on your ex that you won’t have sex with me, maybe you should go back to him! You have issues.”
And that’s how I was dumped by an attempted rapist.
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