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A Foreign Affair
I have always chosen seclusion. When I was six there was an electrical fire in my home and I suffered severe burns to my face, right shoulder, and much of my chest. I tried kindergarten and first grade at public school, but other children were scared of me, disgusted with me, or mistreated me. Even the school recommended home schooling as there were too many discipline issues they had to deal with due to kids mistreating me. They admitted to my mother that there was little they would be able to do about the bullying and teasing.
The city was actually willing to pay for a tutor for me because my mother was a single parent and the breadwinner. She couldn’t stay home and home school me.
I grew up awkward and aside from cousins who would visit and a few friends of my younger brother who became my friends as well I grew up solitary. I was a good student and devoured books and as a 12 year old in the mid-90s got into the internet when our library first got it. I haunted the library for over a year being there almost every day after lessons. I spent so much time online reading and chatting. Chat became my social outlet in adolescence. I could finally comfortably communicate with people without them looking away uncomfortable or making small talk and leaving. It was the only way I could talk to girls.
My mother used her tax return in 1996 to buy me my first computer. She eventually opted for a second phone line too due to how often I was on. I spent a lot of time chatting and playing games (i.e. Neverwinter Nights, Chess, Warcraft II). Cyberspace was the only place I could reach out and talk to people.
In time I got heavily into EverQuest and finished high school. I went to college and got into computer engineering, but preferred night courses for most of my classes due to fewer folks. I had developed quite the social disease from years of being solitary and was anxious around a lot of people. I also loved the more hands on attention in the smaller courses. Eventually I earned by BS in 2004 and got an awesome job working for Dell.
The only girlfriends I ever had were online. We’d talk, we’d develop feelings, and no matter how much I prepared them by telling them what happened to me and what I looked like they weren’t able to deal. Some were honest and admitted we could only be friends and they wouldn’t ever be attracted to me. One I had spoken to for over a year disappeared online two days after finally showing her a photo of me.
I started to try personals sites. I didn’t put up a picture, but wrote it was a disclaimer up front. There were some nice girls, but none interested in anything I was.
Until I met Kaja.
She was an Estonian electronics engineer who was four years older than me and had a small son. Her high school and college both were English speaking schools, so she had a wonderful grasp on the language. She was educated, silly, and she loved playing chess with me on Yahoo! Games. I was very scared of losing this one 6 months into talking with her and chatting on Skype with her. She was beautiful too which made it even more frightening. At her insistence I finally did show her my picture and was surprised to find out it didn’t seem to change how she felt about me. Just a month after she asked what I thought about her coming to America.
Her certifications didn’t line up well with ones at my job site, but Dell had a pretty awesome program to bring in foreign workers as they wanted to branch out worldwide and build a workforce for it. Kaja and I met and the first thing she did was hug me and kiss the burned side of my face. Her son was scared of me and distant at first, but playing a lot of Mario Kart and Guitar Hero fixed that over time.
Kaja living with me originally was planned to be temporary with me being her sponsor. But, just weeks into living with me she asked if I wanted to marry her. This was when her son (9 at the time) was still hesitant about me, but I jumped at it still.
She didn’t want to wait for a big wedding with my family as she just started her job at Dell. On a 4th of July weekend we flew to Las Vegas and got married at her insistence. I was real uncomfortable as she pushed me to go to shows and hang out, but she insisted. I came to realize here she was a bit of a party girl as she liked to stay out very late and drink until she was sick.
Coming home she drank every evening. A sizeable amount of her paycheck was being drank away. I barely touched a drop as my mother didn’t allow alcohol in the house. I began to notice we’d only have sex if she was wasted.
Still, I was happy not being alone. I was happy having a son that started to become my little buddy. He got into swimming at the YMCA and was obsessed with soccer. Both of them I was at every meet, game, and a lot of the practices. I began the expensive process of international adoption with him.
Kaja had a male cousin back home that she said she grew up with named Olev. They talked frequently as she did with a lot of her female cousins and brothers and I thought nothing of it. A year into our marriage she asked if I would sponsor Olev so he could come to America and escape the poor economy in Estonia. He got a job with UPS and we converted our attic into a bedroom for him. I knew from the moment I met him he didn’t like me which I assumed was because I was an American, was disfigured, was wealthy compared to an Estonian, etc.
A month before our second wedding anniversary Kaja finally got her green card. The following month her son did too. Olev was spending a lot of time with our son at first, but soon my son was uncomfortable around him and his mother. Kaja was drinking as usual and starting to go out every other night with Olev since I was really socially anxious in public places. It originally was supposed to be one night of a week but in three weeks became her being out more than half the time.
My son and I were going to have a special weekend for his 13th birthday. He was now a teenager and we were going to go fishing for a couple days at the lake. Olev for weeks kept asking if he could come and was displeased he couldn’t. He complained to me that he was part of the family too and should come. He spoke to Kaja and she insisted I bring Olev too. Frustrated, I told them this was father and son time and it seemed to enrage Olev even more. Finally I asked my son while Kaja was present what he wanted as it was his weekend. He insisted it just be us. Kaja told Olev that evening and apparently yelled and hollered at my son while I was helping a co-worker move into his apartment. I came home and everyone in the house was red faced from crying, but nobody would tell me what was wrong.
That Friday my son and I left. On the five hour trip he asked me if I loved him. I assured him I did very much. He asked me if anything would ever make me disown him. That was a strange question, but I assured him that no matter what I was always his father.
That is when my 13 year old adopted son had the courage to tell me the truth.
Kaja and Olev weren’t cousins. They were married. My son was their son. Unable to find work or opportunity in Estonia they planned to come to the US. Kaja was talking to a lot of American guys online and I was the catch. He knew this ever since he was 9 when we started talking. Kaja was planning on leaving me the moment Olev got his green card. He told me Kaja also was slowly taking money from our joint account and building a nest egg to leave. My son told me he was getting scared for me because Olev was becoming extremely jealous and angry at how close him and his son were. That his son was preferring to spend time with me. He was angry he wasn’t coming to the birthday weekend and swore a couple nights ago during a screaming match that he would kill me if he had the chance. Kaja and Olev yelled and screamed at him to better treat his real father and that I was not going to be in his life soon.
After hearing this there was no way I was going home or letting my son go home. We went to my mother’s and I called Kaja and asked her who Olev really was. She denied it for 45 minutes, crying and accusing me of not trusting her. The story then changed to he was her husband, but they didn’t love each other and she was just trying to help him start a new life, to finally that she was still in love with him, but loved me more.
Olev called the house and left many threatening voicemails. Enough so that when Kaja called the police and they came to my mother’s house I could let them see why I wasn’t letting my son go home to them. She could visit all she wanted, but I was his legal parent and Olev wasn’t and was dangerous.
Two days of ignoring Kaja’s calls I finally agreed to speak with her. I definitely wanted a divorce and wanted to discuss how we were going to end it. The minute I told her that the feigned hysterics, tears, and woeful lover routine stopped and she casually made her demands. She wanted me to continue to sponsor Olev and I could keep the house and she get her car. If I didn’t she’d try and take half the house and demand alimony. She wanted to take our son, but I told her it was up to him where he wanted to go. That immediately terminated the call.
My tires were slashed and the windows in the back of my mother’s house were smashed in, but I wasn’t going to buckle to the fear. I paid to fix the windows and repaired my car. I bought a gun for the first time in my life. The one time I can convince my son to get the phone when Kaja called for him she yells at him for telling me everything.
It turns out ICE doesn’t take marriage fraud lightly. Kaja wasn’t deported as she had her son here, but Olev was and barred from re-entry. In the year long waiting period for the divorce Kaja tried to reconcile with me, but I wouldn’t even consider it no matter how lonely I was. I am told she had a string of boyfriends in our city, but when they all found out about me and her son they all ditched. She eventually moved back to Estonia to go be with Olev.
She has been gone for four years now. Do I regret meeting her? I regret the pain it caused, but I wouldn’t trade my son for it. He just started college this year. I reached out to that woman because I didn’t want to be alone. Now I’m not.
The biggest lesson in this for me was that all the people I didn’t really know that hurt me or humiliated me couldn’t hold a candle to how the person I loved did. The deepest pain of all comes from those who are supposed to love us.
71 Comments to A Foreign Affair
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a very sad story but throughout that darkness light shined. an act of kindness that became love saved you from something that was wrong your son must have really loved you to do something so courageous in exposing his mother and fathers con Im glad you held strong it’s inspiring inthe end you were able to ease your loneliness and provide a future for a child who made his own personal sacrifice.Because he was empowered by your feelings for him.
I just want to give you a hug and say not everyone is this bad. You seem like a genuinely nice person and didn’t deserve this treatment at all. But at least you have a son out of all this. Glad they sent that guy back where he can’t cause trouble anymore. Your ex and Olev are both sneaky assholes and certainly deserve each other. I wish you luck in all that you do and one day find someone when you’re ready. Love yourself and you’ll attract the right kind of person.
I just want to give you a big hug, and a cup of hot cocoa. It’s so terrible that she put you through this. I’m glad you still have your son.
SM: “Dreams Come True”
I was reading this story to my mom and the moment it was mentioned that she was from Estonia, my mom immediately guessed it was an immigration scam. Wow. I’m sorry you had to go through that. Sometimes the best lessons are the ones we learn the hard way.
I am so sorry. Life has not been kind to you. I wish you could have found someone without the heartache attached to it, but at least you and your son found each other.
Better luck in the future. And congratulations to your son on getting into college.
I’m sorry this happened to you,some people are complete assholes.
I can relate on the disfigurement part, I as well have a disfigurement on my face,caused by a tumour at birth. And I went through all the stuff you did with seclusion,trust issues and so on.
You sound like a responsible,and kind hearted person. And any woman should be lucky to have you,and fuck anyone who wants to be superficial about your burns
This story and the previous one to it have been some of the best stories ever on here. OP, it goes to show that when you do the right things, it’s not always a perfect ending or easy ride but eventually it ends good. High Five, I hope the buyout of Dell goes OK and you end up with a nice new higher position and a big raise
You deserve it.
OP,
That’s a heart-breaking story, and despite all that had happened to you, you’ve got a light shining at the end of the tunnel. Anyway, all things considered I’m glad you got the better end of things.
You have what sounds like a great kid, who’s doing well, and things sound pretty peachy.
The ones that are supposed to love us tend to hurt us the most, but I’m glad everything turned out better than they could have.
I really want to give you a hug,too.
Why did you suddenly refer to yourself in the third person? Makes me assume this is all make up / copied from somewhere.
“My son told me he was getting scared for me because Olev was becoming extremely jealous and angry at how close him and his son were. That his son was preferring to spend time with me. “
The years don’t add up quite right: graduated in 2004, then met woman & son who was 9 (lets assume that was in 2005). Stuff goes down when he turns 13 (2009). Takes a year to get divorced (2010). She’s been gone for 4 years (2014)……
Maybe some of that was more condensed, but it makes me kinda wonder if this is for real.
Op I want to give you a hug hell I will marry you I don’t care you have a scar.
If the story is true or not… who cares. The point is people are cruel. That’s a FACT.
A persons outer beauty is just that – on the outside. It’s the inside that counts. Have any of you met a smoking hot guy or gal and them they open their mouth and completely ruin the illusion of the beauty? Then you meet a person that isn’t beautiful by societies standards and they are just a sweet as can be? But you don’t go with them because of what your friends/strangers might think? Yeah… people are stupid.
I would date a man with scars and a great heart over a model with narcissistic tendencies any day.
Outer beauty fade and ugly goes straight to the bone.
*tear*
You poor thing….I held my hand over my heart in shock as I read this. We all complain about such silly things in this life and to see someone like you fight through such deception and still come out positive is such a beautiful thing….God surely has greater things for your life than her. I wish you the very best in life and it’s good to hear that you love your son so much.
A well written story, very enjoyable read… That said its fiction, but hey, whatever… its the internet ;O)
Based on your character, I’d fuck you OP, with or without alcohol involved.
Wow— this story was so well written, I was enthralled in the OP’s little novella. If it’s fake, I am entertained.
If it’s real; the OP has a heart of gold, I’m sure someone will snap him up very soon. As the stupid shallow girls are getting on their third and fourth unhappy marriages and the crows feet start to creep in, it gets a lot easier to connect with someone better than that on more than a skin deep level.
You are a wonderful man OP. It sucks we live in such a vile society that we judge on looks over heart. You took in a woman, and her child, whats more, you fought for your child, and kept him. He is so much better off with you. I wish there were more men like you. May you find the companionship you so deserve.
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