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No more bowling for me…
So this is going to be long, sorry! I was 21 when I met G online. We met the next day and he showed interest, he would text me everyday and we would chat online for hours. He hadn’t finished HS but somehow got into college and drop out on his 2nd semester, he had no car (only his mom’s which he could use afternoons & weekend nights) & no job (red flag!!) Obviously I didn’t pay attention to this, he was sooo nice to me that I thought maybe if he loved me enough it would all change. I had a surgery 1 month after we met and he got mad at me & my parents for not answering my phone so he didn’t visit me while I was at the hospital, he only visited me once after the surgery. Then I went on a trip w/my parents where I spent a lot of money on gifts for him, I even got my dad to buy some bowling equipment online for him (which I ended up paying). I came back, he came to visit, took the stuff I bought for him, but instead of watching movies with me or having dinner he said he had a party he couldn’t miss. I was mad but didn’t make a big deal. As time went by he made me go to parties with him every friday & saturday, sometimes even sunday, and if I said I wanted to stay home he said “if you don’t come with me, then it’s over”. I was so in “love” I would do anything to be with him. Things started to get worse, one day we were driving to a bowling alley for his tournament, I got mixed up and gave him directions to the wrong bowling alley, BIG MISTAKE!!! he hit my arm so hard it was almost black, I could barely move it & I had to wear long sleeve in summer for 3 weeks, we were both hungover, slept for 1 hr and slept in, so he was already mad case we were gonna be late for his tournament! I forgave him, he cried, I cried and he said he was sorry and that he would never do that again ,LIE!!! He kept doing it at least once a week,he would get mad at me for any reason. He wasn’t working or studying, so he was on internettil 3-4 am every day, and he made me go to his house after school every day, he even knew how much time it took me to drive from school to his house, and if I was late for sure there would be a fight.I knew he cheated on me, he kept texting & meeting with his exgf, he met girls online (ugly, fat girls) and made them buy stuff for him, I don’t even know when did he hook up w/them, I guess at night, after he left me in my house and he said he was going “home”. I got pregnant, didn’t tell anyone and he made me have an abortion (biggest mistake of my life) I was so stupid to think I would never find anyone better than him, and I was also scared to be alone, I spent everyday with him since we met.
Eventually I got tired, and went to Canada to study baking & pastry. I planned everything behind his back, and the day I left we had a normal day, bowling tournament, dinner and I even said “goodbye, I’ll call you in the morning”. I left that night and he found out by calling my house & my dad told him I was gone. He contacted me while I was in Canada and begged me to come back, or to let him go with me to Canada, but like always he wanted me to pay for his plane ticket, food, etc…. I didn’t. We did meet when I came back to Mexico, he cried again, I forgive him but I could never be with him again. I met an amazing guy, we got married and had a beautiful baby boy!
42 Comments to No more bowling for me…
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Ugh. I don’t understand how humans ended up so high on the food chain. Intelligence clearly did not play a role in that. I think it had more to do with our ability to out-breed the competition.
Glad things turned out well in the long run.
So all this went down and your parents did nothing? Ok, sure…you’re all bruised and your parents just let you keep going over there?
Thank you sir can I have another?
Honestly I don’t think the shmushmortion was the worst mistake of your life. Being tied to that loser for the rest of your life would not be good. You wouldn’t have gone to college in Canada and got your life started. People like that have a way of bringing you down to their level and you were on that fast track to nowheresville.
**Yes, it was a long story. Paragraphs are your friend. Remember that.
** You can drop out of high school but still get into college by taking and excelling in general-equivalency exams (GED), and then taking and passing college-entrance exams. I know people who did it this way, including my fiance (because he was bored and unchallenged at his HS even as an advanced-placement student).
**No education, no car, no job. You “red flag!!!-ed” that, but went out with him anyway. (*facepalm* )
**I don’t understand why you had to go all the way to Canada to study baking-and-pastry. Yes, Canada is a lovely country, but aren’t there any baker’s schools in Mexico? Mexico is a big country…you could have still gotten far away from this abusive dickhead without going all the way to the far-northern part of the North American continent. But then, I’m kinda biased towards being warm in the winter—hahaha.
** No one can “make” you have an abortion, unless he wrestled you down, tied you in a bundle and carried you to the clinic. You made your choice (whatever the reason behind it)—but at least you have no further tie with the asshole.
**Glad you met a great guy and have a lovely baby now. So my next bit is not aimed at you, but to the girls who might read this while they are going through a similar situation :
*********************NEVER******************
Never never never stay in a relationship where you HOPE he “changes” into what you want him to be.
He is the person he is. He has the right to be who he is and any needed “changes” have to come from within him, not by outside pressure.
You are too worthwhile to waste your time and your happiness trying to “make” him a better person.ESPECIALLY if the thing that needs to change is for him to stop beating the hell out of you!(It took me receiving a broken nose to learn this lesson—I broke his two front teeth in response, then I RAN LIKE HELL)
IF he likes to HIT, he’s a piece of SHIT.
He sure seemed to force you to do a lot of things.
I almost stopped reading at the beginning when you said you were 21 and he had dropped pot of high school. At first It read like he was STILL high school aged.
I really don’t care where you went to school as long as you left his abusive ass but honey, you seriously were FORCED to go to parties? I’m making an assumption that your Mexican. As many Mexican fathers as I know, if you would have said, “Daddy, he hits me. I don’t want to go.” G’s ass would have been taking a dirt nap. Were you just ashamed of your situation or was G a pussy gangster? WTF gives?
I’m glad you’re safe now. In the end that’s what really matters.
He totally couldn’t have been a gangster. He bowled. In tournaments no less. LOL
I think this was the basis for a Dickens novel, I can’t quite remember.
Solve media says “unlimited wishes” – if I had unlimited wishes, I would wish that I was fluent in whatever bastardisation of language this is.
Actually, aborting his mongrel was probably the smartest thing you did in that relationship. Nevertheless, you’re train wreck life has brought me much entertainment. Thanks.
I’m with Twisty.. she hit it right on the head… or is it right in the mouth…
Gotta say… If your situation screams “self esteem issue” then it’s time to ask for outside help. And why would anyone be afraid of being alone? Being alone is only temporary until you find someone else to connect with.
Is it just me, or does this story contain pretty much all the bad-relationship cliches in the book (or site rather)?
Nah, Lotus… she missed one. She didn’t “fast forward”.
This could be the script for a really bad Adam Sandler movie.
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