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I’ve observed that this site isn’t always about being dumped, so I hope you don’t mind me simply sharing a crazy break up story.
I was 15 and a sophmore when I met S at a Youth Group I started going to with some school friends. “S” was two years older, witty, smart, charismatic, and definitely a leader in the group. I was smitten almost immediately. I used to look forward to Wednesday nights all week. Well somehow we started talking outside of group and eventually started dating. I was ecstatic! At first everything was wonderful. We were sure that we were the ones “God had made for each other” and couldn’t wait to be older so we could get married and have kids.
Fast forward to the start of my junior year. S goes off to college at a big state school 6 hours away to study engineering. It was hard but I still got to see him about once a month and we talked on the phone or over AIM (yeah, I’m old) pretty much every day. Now for most of high school so far, I had no idea what I wanted to study after I graduated, and I was beginning to get stressed out because I had to start thinking about colleges. During my first semester, I was taking AP Bio and realized I was really interested in health science and decided I wanted to do something like nurse practitioner or doctor. I was so excited and finally felt like I had some purpose. When I shared this with S, instead of being supportive, he said “well, I always imagined I’d have a wife who put our family first and stayed home.” I was so upset and felt to guilty. I have nothing but respect for stay at home moms, but that wasn’t what I wanted. However, I just kind of thought “well I’m not going to be having kids soon so we’ll cross that bridge when I get to it” and didn’t bring it up much. I knew he came from a more conservative/old school family, so I figured he’d eventually get used to me having a career too.
Over the next few months, the relationship kind of took a downturn. I grew out of a lot of my early teenage insecurity and began to realize how needy and insecure he was instead. Looking back, I can’t believe how much he manipulated me into focusing on him. Finally, about spring, I had had enough and broke it off. I was surprised at how relieved rather than sad I was. A few days later, he called my house phone crying. I was so glad my mom picked up instead of me. She told him we needed some time apart but maybe we could talk in a few weeks.
Fast forward again to summer. Never heard from S and didn’t see him at Youth Group since it was for high schoolers. Then I met E. I think we both knew it was nothing more than a summer romance, but we were both still swept up in each other. Then one night in mid-summer a bunch of the Youth Group kids went out for food after a church event and some of the “grads” came too since we all knew each other, S included. It was fine, we acknowledged each slightly but sat at different ends of the table. While we were there, E called and the other girls my age wanted to talk to him and were asking me questions and being all girly, which S must have noticed. I didn’t care much though; it had been almost 6 months and I just assumed he had moved on as I had.
About a week later, I was hanging out at home when my parents called me in to talk to them. They said S just called and expressed concern that I was suicidal over our break up and they needed to watch me. I don’t think they for one second believed him but were still concerned as to why S would say that. I was flabbergasted. I hadn’t even talked to the guy in months. I sent him an email calling him out and asking why he would say that stuff when I dumped him. He told me that for months before our break up he was trying to push me away so I’d break up with him because he knew I was too fragile to handle being dumped! Despite the fact he called me sobbing after I dumped him, he had convinced himself it was still his idea all along.
Despite being young and relatively naive to the ways of love, I knew a lost cause when I saw one, basically said “whatever, man” and dropped it. I to this day don’t know why he told my parents that. Was he jealous of my new romance? Was he simply desperate to remind me he existed?
I saw a picture of him recently on Facebook on a friend’s page. You know that feeling when you see an old ex and they have only gotten ugly and creepy since you dated. I’ts shallow, it’s petty, and it’s delicious. (And in case you care, I still pursued a career in health care, will be getting a Doctorate in Pharmacy in a few years, and have a boyfriend who supports and motivates me completely).
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