Me and this guy I had known for years were in this on again off again fling. We had never been official, but we were still very close. Secretly, I was in love with him, but every time we tried to get things going between us, he would always say it ‘just wasn’t the right time.’ I was crushed when I found out that he got a girlfriend last year, but we still managed to stay friends. The other night, he called me sobbing, saying that his girlfriend had broken up with him. He sounded so distraught, and so crazy that it scared me, so I went over to make sure he was okay. I consoled him when I got over there, talking to him and telling him that things would be okay. Things just only seemed to get worse, and he laid his head down in my lap and started crying hysterically. I let him lay there and ran my hands through his hair to comfort him. After a while, he raised his head and looked into my eyes and said “See, this is why I love you. You’re everything that I need; best friend and lover. I’ve always loved you and I couldn’t see my life without you.†It was like a dream come true. He was saying everything that I had always fantasized hearing him say – this was really happening! We kissed, and he whispered that he loved me. We had sex, then he wrapped his arms around me and said “Let’s just do what we always should have done and make this official. Mark the calendar; this is our anniversary from now on.†I was so excited, I couldn’t sleep. I just stayed snuggled in his arms. The next day, we hung out together for a little while, then I headed home to take care of a few things and get ready for our “first date†we had planned later on. He called me a few hours before the date. I answered and said “You couldn’t even wait that long to see me?!†There was silence, then he said “Look, I called to apologize. Everything that happened last night was a mistake. I was just in a crazy place.†I told him that it was okay, that I didn’t think that we were moving too fast or anything, and that I was happy that we were finally in a real relationship. He just kept on insisting that it was a mistake and that we shouldn’t be doing it. After several minutes of us arguing, he said “I’m trying not to do this the wrong way because I do care for you as a friend, but me and my girl talked today and worked things out. We’re back together and I’m going to make it work this time.†He then went on to tell me that she wasn’t comfortable with us being friends, so he wanted us to back off of each other for a while.
What a total ASSHOLE!
Generally when someone is emotionally traumatized, it’s not the best time for them to be making serious decisions about their life and relationships. While I can certainly understand how hurt you must have been, you shouldn’t have taken his words too seriously when you knew he was vulnerable and not thinking clearly. Had the genders been reversed, you’d be accused of \taking advantage\ of him. The best thing you can do now is to make sure you don’t put yourself in a position to be hurt again by this guy. Friendship is fine but no more kissing and shoulder-crying no matter what crisis he may be having.
Put sugar in his gas tank.
Oh, please! You feel for the oldest scam in the book. “I’m so hurt, please bang me.” C’mon ladies, get some control of yourselves and stop playing out roles from movies! Movies aren’t real!
Why would you ever have sex with some asswipe that had a girlfriend and was upset with her? He knows you have a thing for him. That’s why he called you to come over.
He totally used you, and you can be sure he blamed you for the whole situation.
The best thing you can do is cut off all communication with this a hole. He’s not your friend. Friends don’t do this.
Geesh, what is with some of the harsh criticism on this site? People make some silly mistakes when it comes to thinking with their hearts. I mean obviously she’s not trying to seek sympathy points here by posting on here (I know I certainly didn’t). Sometimes you just want to tell your story not hear how much of an idiot you were (trust me, we ALL know we were idiots once hindsight kicks in).
Personally, I feel for the girl. We’ve all been in situations (well most of us) where the person we have been crushing on for ages FINALLY gives us the green light. Sometimes it works out but a good chunk of the time you end up getting screwed over. And it sucks alllll the more because you really liked that person and thought they’d never do this to you because they were your friend.
But as “Jeff” said, you end up learning that when people are at their emotional worst, you can’t take what they say with a grain of salt cus it almost always gets reversed the moment reality (or sobriety) kicks in.