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About a year ago, I met this guy on an online dating website. He was smart, funny, attractive, and we just hit it off like a house on fire. He was older than me by about 6 years (I was 27 at the time) but I didn’t think anything of the age difference or that he was just going back into the Army. He gave me some whole song and dance about how he wanted to support his country again (he had previously been in the Marines) but had to go through a few weeks of bootcamp all over again. I, being extremely supportive of his decision, wrote him letters every day, sent him pictures, and bought him phone cards to call me (apparently he didn’t have money to call me in bootcamp?). Even though we had never met, he had basically convinced me that we were meant for one another and kept telling me things like “I can see this having a happy ending”, etc. He even tried telling me he loved me once before I cut him off, telling him that it was too soon and we needed to meet first. The guy even talked to my mom one time when she and I were out at dinner and her convinced he was a great guy. Basically, I thought I had found “the one”.
Well about two months in he gets a 48 hour pass after graduation. He says he will pay for me to come out and see him. Excited, I agree. What he meant is that he will pay $150 and I’ll pay the rest, including airfare and a rental car. I ended up dropping about $600 at the time but didn’t think anything of it because I was convinced this was “true love” (yes, I was an idiot). So I fly out there and drive an hour to meet him. I pay for the hotel for the first night (he grabbed it the next night). The moment we meet I have this gut feeling something is off but we instantly start hooking up and acting on all the pent up sexual tension between us. When we ventured out of our hotel room, however, he refuses to touch me in public. Hurt, I asked him why and he made some excuse about how he is stressed out and forgot what it was like to be in a relationship. I gave him that and just thought it would be okay as things progressed.
Well the 48 hours pass and he has to go back to base. Again, something in my gut tells me something is up as we say goodbye but I ignore it again. I fly home and still can’t shake the feeling something is up. I mean, since I had left him I had only received a single text thanking me for coming out but I chalk it up to him being busy.
Then, 9 days later, a day before my birthday, I get a letter from him – my first communication with him since I had left. In it he writes a detailed response about why we won’t work out and how I am “too fat” for him. I was crushed. Mind you, I wasn’t “that fat” then but because he had lost about 60lbs or whatever in bootcamp, he was feeling pretty hot about himself and decided that he couldn’t be with someone who wasn’t at his same physical level. I was totally devastated. He had no problem screwing me all weekend but couldn’t date me? Needless to say, I wrote back and went off on him and sent back his spare dogtags and burned all of his letters. The best part? After he got out he wanted to hook up again because I was supposedly “the best sex he’s ever had”. It’s okay though; about a month later he comes home on leave (his family is close to my place) and came to apologize again and ended up just breaking down on my couch sobbing about his failures and such. Yeah…lesson learned!