A Real Family Man

Me and my son’s father were together for 5 years before he showed his true colors. When we met, I was a single mother to two kids from a previous relationship. I was dealing with their father popping in and out of their lives, and his family constantly causing problems for me. We took things slow at first, I wanted to really get to know him before I introduced him to my children. He had a daughter from another relationship as well, so taking it slow worked well for both of us.

After a few months, we decided it was time to take things further, and we introduced the kids to each other. It was like instantly we were one big happy family. He had custody of his daughter because her mom was psycho, and they both started spending more time at my house than they did at their own. After a few more months, we decided to get married and move in together. I couldn’t have asked for a better life at that point, and then we found out we were pregnant, so that made things even better. We had a healthy baby boy and our family was complete. We were always on the go and took more family vacations in 2 years than I had in my entire life.

Then one day his hours got cut at work. We were still okay financially. I made enough to support all of us, and he had only taken a 10 hour/week cut. It seemed to work at first, he was able to pick the kids up from school so they didn’t have to go to afterschool care anymore. Then his mom started taking them every day because he had “stuff” to do. The stuff he had to do started taking up more of his time. I figured it out one day when a text message popped up on his phone from some girl asking him if they could see each other tomorrow. I wasn’t snooping. I was sitting right next to him, so of course I could see it, even when he tried his hardest to delete the message thread while I demanded to see it. We had the biggest fight you could imagine, then it all came out. He had met some girl one afternoon at the gym and they had since been carrying on an affair. He claimed that it wasn’t love, and it was all about the escape she offered him from his home life (like that was some sort of excuse). He leaves and stays gone for the entire weekend. He strolls in Sunday night, with my favorite ice cream asking me if I was still mad. Of course I was still mad, but it only got worse when he said that he would stop sleeping with her but that he was going to keep her as a friend, because she was someone he could talk to. When I refused to accept that, he goes into a rage, packs up his stuff and leaves. He came back the next day to get the rest of his and his daughter’s stuff. That beautiful little girl, whom I had loved like my own daughter, was gone in the blink of an eye. He must have forgot that he left his other child behind, because it was weeks before he even called to check on our son. At first, we were civil enough to arrange for visits, but it didn’t take long before he stopped showing up and calling all together. I recently sued him for child support, but he is contesting it, claiming that I cheated throughout our entire relationship. But at least my kids and I are happy and healthy, and that is all I can ask for right now.

His Mother Told Him To

I have read other stories here about interfering mothers, but none of them come close to the horror I experienced with my ex’s mother (and father sometimes). When we first started dating, I didn’t think too much of him living at home with his parents. We had both just recently graduated from college, and I had just moved out of my parent’s a couple of months before. I met his parents on our second date. They gave me the full interrogation, wanting to know every single detail about my life, my plans, and a bunch of other stuff I thought they really didn’t have any business asking.

As time went on, we spent the majority of our time together at his house. I thought it was cute that his mother would pop in from time to time and check on him, or offer us food when she was cooking, but then I started to see how much of a monster she had created. He randomly decided one day that he didn’t like his job, so he quit. We had been talking about getting a place together, but I didn’t see how that was going to happen with him being unemployed. He had a little saved, but soon squandered that on booze, weed, and friends. Then he started hitting me up for money. I would give him some here and there, but made it very clear that he would need to find a job ASAP. One night, we got into a horrible fight. He wanted $60 so that he could go hang out with friends. When I refused, he threw the biggest fit ever, calling me all kinds of names. His mom comes in and asks him what’s wrong. He explained the situation to his mom, and I was completely floored when she looks at me and tells me “Just give him the money. It wasn’t a problem when he was taking you out on dates.” She then starts in on me being ungrateful and how wonderful her son is, blah, blah. Then his dad comes in and tells me that he will go to the ATM and get $60 for me since I was making such a huge deal about it. All the while, their son is in the corner throwing a fit because I told him no. I had had enough. I grabbed my bag and just walked out. If they wanted to give their loser son, money, they could be my guest, but no one was going to force me to give him anything.

He must have gotten what he wanted, because I didn’t hear from him for days. When he did finally call, it was to ask me to brig food over to him. I told him that I was still upset about the other night, but he didn’t seem to care, he just wanted to know if I was bringing food. When I told him to go get his own food, he goes off again, then tells me that he doesn’t want to be with me anymore, that his mom had told him that night to dump me and he thought it best to follow her advice. I actually laughed because I couldn’t believe how ridiculous the situation had gotten. I was fine with the break up, it was better than dating him and his parents anyway.

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

I spent 4 long years with my boyfriend. We first met during our last year of college. We were just friends for quite a while, both not really looking to get into a serious relationship. There was just something about the spark between us, that we just couldn’t resist spending all of our time together, and eventually ended up making things official. Soon after we graduated, he tells me that he took a job in Arizona (we are from California). I was crushed because all of the time we talked about his plans to move out there, he never once mentioned me going or if we’d even stay together. I finally asked him one night and he tells me that he would prefer to get out there and get settled first, then talk about me coming out. I could settle for that, so I stayed behind and took a job at a company in town (just something to pass the time until I high-tailed it out to Arizona).

Within the 3 months, we started fighting more and more, and talking less and less. Every time I would bring up the question of me coming out there, he would just say that he wanted some time to get settled (huge red flag). As it turns out, he was poking some skank who lived in his apartment complex. The only reason I found out was because facebook suggested I may know her, and when I looked at her posts they were all about hooking up with him (dumb b*tch didn’t even have the sense to make her stuff private). We fought for days, and he blamed most of it on me smothering him .Then, he turned the tables and told me he didn’t feel like dealing with me anymore. He refused to speak to me for 2 weeks. By the time he did finally talk to me, I was so happy to hear from him that I just decided to forgive him for cheating .

He swore I would never have to deal with anything like that ever again, and our relationship continued. I ended up picking up and moving to Arizona myself. He seemed sorta upset at me moving there, but he let me move in with him. I found a job, and took care of all of the household stuff, but he never really seemed to be there much. He was always at the gym, at some friend’s house, or out with co-workers. This just made us fight more. One day, while he was at work late, I decided to go sit by the pool. You can imagine how surprised I was to see his car parked in the visitor’s lot. I knew for sure it was his car because I recognized the license plate. I called him, no answer. I called again, and he answers like he’s super busy, rushing me off of the phone saying that he is trying to wrap up his work. I stood there by his car, then went and sat on a bench nearby to wait for him. After another hour, he finally comes strolling out of the first building, toward his car. I confronted him and demanded to know what was going on. He had never stopped cheating and he said horrible things in that parking lot. According to him, this was his chance to have a fresh start, he was happy without me, never wanted me out there, and hadn’t wanted to be with me since he moved to Arizona. He asked me to go back to California so he could be happy. I was destroyed. I had seen a real future with him. I packed my stuff and got the first flight I could. I got back home and lost it. I was so mad at him for acting like he cared, and then for being so indifferent to dumping me like that. I hate him, and want revenge, he doesn’t deserve to be happy.

What’s Going On Here?

About a year ago it was nearing my schools end of year dance and I was single. I was still not over my second boyfriend who I’d dated about 6 months before. There was a guy in my year who always said he liked me, so I decided to give him a chance in order to get over my ex. The relationship lasted 4 days, during which I only saw him for about an hour.

Last week I started dating another guy because I finally felt ready after my relationship with my second boyfriend. My ‘Prom boyfriend’ asked one of my friends if I had a new boyfriend and she obviously replied yes. He commented “Nice to see she’s over me.”. I’m not sure whether I should tell him he was nothing or let him enjoy the fantasy. Oh, and as an added bonus, my second boyfriend is jealous and my first boyfriend, who is engaged, keeps asking a mutual friend if I want to meet up. What have I suddenly done that has prompted all of my exs to be interested in me again?

Never Forget Your First

Nik and I were never totally head over heels, but it seemed we had our thing, our ties. We had a daughter together and most things seemed cut and dry. Then, we got married. My first husband. It seemed from that day was a downhill spiral.

First, we fought like crazy. Holes in the wall, he threatened to kill me a few times; I told him to leave, he refused. Then, I lost my job. A big layoff emptied about 1/3 of the factory I worked at. I thought the time off might actually help me communicate with my husband. I was very wrong of course. It only helped me find out that he’d been sexting and having internet relationships with girls. That blew up, and he promised to never do it again. (promises, why? ugh.) When I caught him again I went into our modem’s settings and blocked the sites he used to meet girls. The next day seemed tense, but not catastrophic. The following day however, while I took our daughter and my grandmother to town. Upon our return, he was gone. He had taken his game system, and about half of his crap. He had moved in with an acquaintance who is a Registered Sex Offender. He left no note, notice, not even a voicemail.

After about 2 days of begging him back, I filed for divorce, took him the rest of his crap and went cold. I picked him up every Thursday for supervised visitation, there was no way in this Earth my daughter was going to stay one night in the home of a RSO. On these visits I took them for lunch, then to play at the park or library, the weather being the factor. After about 4 hours I took him back to the RSO’s place and dropped him off. Some days he tried to test me, and tell me he still cared, I just laughed at him.

The last 2 visits were tense, he looked horrible, hadn’t shaved, or showered. Both times he tried to corner me on my divorce terms, trying to get partial custody of the daughter he abandoned when he moved out. I was not going to risk my 2 year old daughter’s safety just so she could spend time with the guy who walked out on us. After the first of these 2 our divorce was finalized, after the second visit he called me every day with hateful remarks, I hung up on him several times.

Then, about a week later the craziest thing happened. At about 10:30 PM there was a knock at the door, the state highway officers informed me that my ex-husband had been hit and killed by a 70 year old man driving a van as he was walking to town to buy cigarettes. I was totally shocked, but at peace at the same time. Our marriage had failed. When he walked out, I stepped up. When he acted foolish, I was smart. When I had decided to live, he had died. Ugly Balance.

Aborted and Abandoned

I met Rob at a party with friends from work. We would go out on the weekends and drink and smoke a little too. At his house we would play strip video games as foreplay and then have protected sex. Then I would go home, still living with my parents.

One night after going to a concert, we were really buzzed. Soon I lost every game. NOW naked and on his bed. He kept rubbing on me then slid in before rolling on a condom. We had sex several times that night. In 2 weeks I missed my period. Got the home test and yes I was knocked up.

Rob said he would take me to the clinic and take care of me and the bill. I made the appointment for a Saturday. In two weeks. Rob Insisted we have “natual sex” since it couldn’t do no harm. The day arrived and he had to work. I rescheduled. He took me out to a nice dinner and back to his place for more sex. The following week his excuse was he did not have all the money, rent and car repairs, you know. Promising next week for sure So the whole week, every night, I gave myself to Rob.

The day came and Rob came and got me. Took me into the clinic, paid the fee, and stayed in the waiting room. After I was released he took me out to breakfast. Rob wanted me to go on the pill. I can’t take it for medical reasons. Rob insisted I get on the pill or something. Stating after a month of “natural sex” he wasn’t going to wear a condom again. After he took me home he never called me again.