Family First

Joel was a sweet guy and the love of my life. We had met at a food festival with some friends and had been close ever since. We had an amazing relationship and I could see myself being married to him. Joel was from the southern end of the state and had recently moved a few hours north. Only he and a cousin were here, so my family always made an effort to include him in everything we did. He was like family to them.

One day, Joel sits down with me and starts telling me about how his family is having a little financial trouble and are considering relocating up our way for better opportunities. By “thinking about relocating” he must have meant that they had already packed and were on their way because that weekend his dad, mother, sisters and his sister’s baby were all crammed into our 2 bedroom apartment. I felt like he had known about this for a lot longer than he led on and had agreed to let them stay with us without so much as mentioning it to me. Now what was once my space that I loved, the place that I would come home to and release all of the day’s stresses was full of his family and lots of tension. His dad wasn’t a fan of mine because he felt that I had been the reason his son had decided to stay up north (even though he had already made that decision before we met). He thought that I was trying to take his son away from his family. He made it obvious that he didn’t want me around. He would do really immature things, like asking the family to go out and calling each of them by name but purposefully skipping over me, even if I was sitting in the same room. He made dinners that he served before I got off. Whenever Joel and I wanted to spend time together he would start whining about needing to spend time with Joel or there would be some urgent matter that he needed Joel’s help with. My family made so many efforts to get to know Joel’s parents, but they just weren’t interested. My mother’s 50th birthday was coming up and my father was throwing a huge party. I told Joel to invite his family, but he said they probably wouldn’t have the time. The day of the party, Joel was very moody and kept snapping at me. About an hour before we were set to leave, Joel hops in bed in his underwear. I told him that he should start getting ready and he just exploded. He screamed that he wasn’t going, he was tired of being pushed around by me and my family, and that he should be focused on his family and not me. He dumped me right there in his underwear. I couldn’t believe it, but then when I heard his father say “See, I told you you would feel better.” I was pissed, but I refused to stoop to his level and if Joel was weak enough to let his dad force him into dumping me, then I wanted nothing to do with him either.

He Called it Honesty

I’m going to try to keep this as short as possible. It still hurts way too much for me to want to go into great detail and some things are still a little unclear. I married Kevin 3 years ago next week. We were that couple that had been together since high school. The one that everyone thought would end up married. We waited 2 years after we had graduated to get married, so we were still fairly young, but we loved each other deeply and couldn’t see ourselves with anyone else. We had a little boy a year after we were married. While we had our fair share of issues, there was never any reason for me to think that I had a reason to feel insecure about the future of my marriage or that I should question my husband’s commitment to our marriage.

Everything went down back in March. My sister was turning 25 and she and her fiance had planned this huge weekend trip for her and a bunch of friends. There were a total of about 10 people who were all heading down to this awesome beach town 2 hours away from us. It was one of those party destinations, and I couldn’t wait. My husband and I piled in to one of the vans we rented and set out for a well-needed mini vacation. We had rented a big beach house for everyone to stay in so that we didn’t have to deal with everyone in different hotels. We got there, unpacked and wasted no time in partying. The drinks were flowing within an hour of our arrival. After a few hours, I was buzzed and incredibly tired from the long day. I asked my hubby if he wanted to go to bed, but he told me that he was staying for one more round and would meet me in our room in a few minutes. He didn’t come to bed for another 3 hours, but I didn’t mind. I gave him a kiss and went back to sleep.

The weekend was so much fun, and the first time in a very long time that I felt free to just enjoy myself without responsibilities. I was bummed to be headed home that Sunday, but excited to get home to my baby boy. My husband rode home with the guys in one van and I rode with the girls in another. As we pulled onto the freeway, things got awkwardly silent, then out of nowhere, my sister’s friend Susan turns to me and tells me that my husband had said awful things about me after I had gone to bed throughout the weekend. She told me all about how he had talked about how much he suffered on a daily basis and how miserable he was with life being being married to me. She then told me all about how he had tried to have sex with her and 2 other of my sister’s friends, and when they turned him down he asked for them to keep it ‘just between them.’

Once we got back into town, my husband and I had another 20 minute drive to our house, so I figured that I would bring it up on the way home so that he could tell me how it had been some crazy misunderstanding and we could spend the rest of the ride home laughing about it. That’s what I thought would happen, but instead once I told him everything that the girls had told me, he just responded with “Yea, it’s gotten that bad. I can’t take having to live so suffocated anymore. I’m 23 and just want to enjoy life.” Ha, he should have thought of that before the marriage and the baby! I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and I was sure that this was all some sick joke, but no, he slept in our son’s room that night and packed his bags and left the next morning. He would only say that he didn’t want to be married anymore. I fought him so hard to give me the explanation I deserved, but he just said that it was time for him to be honest and stop suffering for the sake of keeping our high school relationship together.

I have no idea where we are right now. He has filed for a divorce, but when he comes around to see our son, he is always nice and flirty with me and we have had sex a few times. What is that? I heard that he is supposed to have some new girlfriend, but I doubt it because I think that this is all some little crisis he is going through and he will realize any day that he can’t walk away from the girl he’s loved since the 10th grade.

I Broke Up With My Job

Yup, I broke up with my job today. I had had it with the way they were running things and treating me. Worst of all, what they were giving to the paying customers. I work in an industrial laundry facility, and we sell our services to the local hospitals and army bases.

Doesn’t sound not too bad right? WRONG!!! My boss is the biggest ass you can think of, I would report one of our drivers for sexual harassment and he’d just laugh at me. he’d make snide comments about my weight, and the fact that I didn’t attend church. He also gave me sh!t for my educational choices in college. After dealing with these minor things for a while he started having me make surgical packs. -these are the “sterile” gowns and O.R. towels used during surgeries on all patients needing surgery at this huge hospital based out of this area.- in a completely non-sterile environment. He wouldn’t enforce protocol and left it in my hands, so when I trained anyone, I made sure they knew to wear a gown, hair cap, shoe covers, gloves, and a face mask-to prevent any kind of “human” contamination.

However, when my fingers on my right hand got broken he FORCED me on F.M.L.A. When I told him it wasn’t necessary for me to leave he said that I HAD to, or I’d be fired. So he hired my replacement, made me train her, and give her my keys only three days of training. He said when I came back I would be put out on the floor in production, I would keep my pay, but my schedule would change and my whole job description–which is illegal to the Family Medical Leave Act. I called corporate and they agreed that that was the plan and if I didn’t like it, I could quit.

I fought and they ended up giving me an office job in the clean room where there is not supposed to be anyone in, no food, drink, items to be stored, or anything. I told corporate about the comments my boss would give me and they told me to get over it. I just watched my replacement make surgical packs without putting up her hair or washing her hands. So what I am going to do is resign… and call OSHA, and let them deal with this mess. Did I mention that they’re not certified in anyway, and that maintenance is laying pipe 30 feet in the air without any harnesses? The hospital is also paying at least $7.50 per surgical pack(30 packs a week), they are unaware of the unsterile room and that what they are paying EXTRA for is not a savory product to use.–sorry it’s so long… It was so involved and this isn’t even all of the story–PHEW!

Wait, I’m Confused

When I was a little over 16, I met Tommy in a chatroom.I was socially awkward, an only child and didn’t have many friends. He lived two hours away from me and was 19 years old. This was when MSN chat was popular and before chatrooms were flooded with ads. I added him to my MSN and Yahoo messangers and we talked everyday. Eventually I gave him my number and we began an online relationship. Almost one year of “dating”, he decided to drive to my small town so we could meet. It was fun, we had lunch and drove around the lake. We kissed, but he was pushing the next step. He and I were both virgins and I wasn’t ready. He seemed okay and before he left, gave me a bouquet of duct tape roses. ( Weird, but sweet because he made them). The next few weeks he was acting a little distant. Not responding as quickly on messanger and not calling me that much. We meet again at a theme park and again in his car he was getting more physical than I wanted and again I said I wasn’t ready. He said that was fine but wanted me to know he was going to visit a good friend in California. At the time I didn’t think anything of it (in his mind it was a consequence). Come to find out he went and visited a pre-op transexual and lost his virginity “both ways” while he was there. The girl he visited still had her man parts and sent me a picture of herself naked while Tommy was sleeping. He had me in his phone as “my love”. I didn’t say anything and I didn’t know what to do. When he got back, he acted like everything was normal. I figured he was gay and I’d let him come out in time. We never saw each other, so it didn’t matter and I didn’t want to embarrass him. This is where it really sucks. I’m not overly superficial. But I do know I am relatively attractive, 5ft 4in and 120 lbs, brown hair, green eyes and olive skin. He calls me and tells me he made a mistake and slept with his friend Marcia (who weighed like 300 lbs and wasn’t that pretty). He thinks he loves her and we should break up. He didn’t know I knew about California. I unload!
ed on him. And told him what I knew. It was crazy, my feelings were hurt and I was pretty mean. Like I said, I know we didn’t see each other often. But he could’ve dumped me first and then slept with her… I just felt like if you were going to cheat you might as well upgrade.I realize now that it didn’t matter who or what he cheated on me with, that is just who he is. It has been 7 years and he married Marcia. they have a baby on the way And he recently sent me a Facebook message asking for my # and if I wanted to meet in a hotel (hell no). I am happily engaged and with no children. I am actually glad it happened it. I had forgotten about it until he looked me up and sent me a random message. I do apologize if this sounds juvenile but these were my thoughts at the time. I do not miss being young. Hehe

Happy New Year! It’s Over.

I apologize if my story is lame and/or cliche, but I guess I finally feel like telling it.

I started dating Robert in August. Our first date was his “perfect date” and we were oh so in love for a few months. I was so happy, or at least I thought I was. The first time he made me cry (which should have been the last) I found myself thinking “This again? Here we go.” But I kept on because I thought it would get better, and we had been friends for so long, I thought he wouldn’t purposefully hurt me.

Things deteriorated slowly, or at least on my end, it seemed that way. I tried to be a good girlfriend, and I ended up paying for dinners and his smokes every so often simply because I make “3 times as much as he does.” Mind, he was working two jobs at the time and I was essentially working one, as I was in the process of quitting my first job. The money thing was something that should have sent me running and I don’t know why it didn’t. Talking about money is a huge no with me unless it’s relevant to the conversation.

He started acting more and more distant, and on my birthday, we had dinner and he ended up taking up for what I thought was a noble reason (visiting a friend in the hospital). I came to find out later that it was a ploy designed by our mutual friends to get him away from me for the night. I didn’t think it was so likely, seeing as how my friends were never the type to try and screw my birthdays up.

He told me he’d make it up to me, and I do admit I overreacted, calling him crying on the phone because I had been ditched by the people who were going to hang out with me. I later found out that it had been his plan entirely and my best friend hadn’t had a clue what was going on. Robert showed up at my house at 6am. I let it slide because we had a New Year’s party which was also meant to celebrate my birthday and I didn’t want to ruin it. Neither did he, apparently.

He decided it would be a good idea to bring a girl and her brother with him, which was fine until she began to conduct herself in a less than lady like manner. I fell asleep early (long week at work and I’d been working a lot of hours due to holidays) and found out the next day that she’d taken off her underwear and pranced around all the guys. I’m sure she’s a nice girl and she was just drunk, but it rubbed me the wrong way big time.

Earlier that day, Robert had handed me his phone to text someone while he was driving. Once I’d sent the text, I unintentionally snooped and saw a text from her, and asked about it. He got really defensive, and basically told me to fuck off. I called him out on it being a red flag (sorry…) and he blamed it on his ex. I gritted my teeth and just sat it out.

New Year’s day, we sit outside my apartment in my car and he breaks up with me. At first, I was distraught, and demanded a break, which was stupid. When he refused to even talk with me about the terms of our ‘break,’ I said f*ck it, never mind, we’re done. The worst part of it was that I had to take him home after all of that since his fancy Mini Cooper’s clutch went out.

All I know is that I dodged a train wreck of crazy and drama here and I’m relieved. I’m sorry this is so long and poorly written!

Positively Horrid!

SO! I met a man at a bar on new years 2013. I will refer to him as K. We started talking and realized that we had came to the bar with mutual friends. I had asked one of my girlfriends about him and she said he was “a really nice guy!” She is usually a good judge of character so I didn’t think twice. We started hanging out and spending more time together and eventually got to the point where we were having a sexual relationship. We agreed that we were only seeing each other and that we wanted a relationship. I had posted a simple “:)” on his facebook one night and then out of no where, I got a message from a girl asking if K and I were dating. I told her that we were and asked why she was wondering. She said she had been dating him too and they just hung out on Thursday, which made sense because we were supposed to hang out that day and he cancelled on me. She said they were having sex and that they met on a dating site for people who are positive for STDs. My heart sank. This guy had herpes and never told me. Needless to say, I confronted him the next day and he admitted to it. I cut off all contact with him and made an appt to get checked. Two weeks after I found out about him and that other girl, I went to the clinic and found out that I fortunately hadn’t contracted it from him, but I was pregnant with his child. I ended up losing the baby and even though he was an lying jerk, it was still very hard for me to experience. I learned a very valuable lesson.